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OT Couple of Jokes!

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by FarmerD, Sep 5, 2007.

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  1. FarmerD

    FarmerD TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
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    During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?" Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." "That's bett er, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner." The teacher fainted...
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    A State Highway employee stopped at a farm to talk with an old Oregonian farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."

    The old farmer said, "OK, but you can't go in that field over there."

    The Highway employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on your farm land."

    So the old farmer went on about his farm chores.

    Later, he heard loud screams and saw the State Highway employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and was gaining on the employee at every step!!

    The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!"

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    There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.

    So, he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt.

    Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move.

    So, then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said.

    "Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?"
     
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