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Ole and Swen

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by The Literalist, Dec 21, 2011.

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  1. The Literalist

    The Literalist Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,853
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears
    about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for
    you non-Scandahoovians out there).

    He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches
    under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls...the cow
    farts.

    Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then
    reaches under the cow to try again.

    He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out
    however, so after some discussion with the cow's owner, Ole decides to buy
    the cow and takes it home...

    When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor,Sven, and says,
    'Hey, Sven, come look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and
    see vat happens...'

    Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.

    Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't
    yah?'

    Ole is very surprised since he had not told Sven about his trip.

    Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how'd yah know?'

    Sven says, 'My wife's from Nordakota...'
     
  2. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    3,885
    Not bad. Not bad at all.
     
  3. RickN

    RickN Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    3,040
    Location:
    Minnysoda
    Oh sure, make fun of someone just because of their Scandinavian heritage. You guys are just sick!!



    Don't you know any Negro or Mexican jokes?



    .


    A Norwegian, Swede and Missourian made a bet about who could stay the longest in a pig house.

    (Pigs have their own houses for winter use on Scandinavian farms because its so cold.)

    They all went in at the same time. After five minutes the Swede came running out. Fifteen minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. After twenty minutes the pigs ran out.
     
  4. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,078
    I'm Scandinavian and I loved it!

    Thanks for the laughs!

    Hauxfan!
     
  5. The Literalist

    The Literalist Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,853
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Yeah, Rick, that was a good comeback. Recall my maternal grandparents came from Norway. I'm sure the Ole and Sven in the joke are Swedes.
     
  6. RickN

    RickN Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Minnysoda
    When Ole and Lena were young and in love they would got to there favorite spot to park. One night while parked hugging and kissing Ole asks Lena, "Lena how would you like to go in the back?"
    "No," she replies. So they hug and kiss some more. Again, Ole asks Lena to go in the back. Lena replies, "Ole, why are you always asking me to go in the back, I want to stay in front with you!"

    .






    One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails.
    "Good gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?"

    "It vas really simple," was Lena's reply. "I yust hid his false teeth."

    .







    Ole and Lars were on their very first MN train ride, heading to Minneapolis. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.

    "Have you eaten your banana yet?" Ole asked excitedly. "No," replied Lars.

    "Vell don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"
     
  7. Easystreet

    Easystreet Well-Known Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,462
    Thanks for the laughs, fellas. I've got tears in my eyes now.
     
  8. Haskins Bill

    Haskins Bill TS Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2007
    Messages:
    777
    So Pepe and Hefe have just made it across the AZ border and it being late at night and quite a while since they have eaten. Hefe says I smell bacon Pepe it must be a bacon tree. Hefe says I am going over the hill to see. Pepe says be careful. Well Hefe goes ove the hill and a machine gun opens up on him. He comes crawling back and Pepe says was it a bacon tree? Hefe says no it was a HAMBUSH!!!!
     
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