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Old joke, but worth retelling

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Don-mx3, Jan 10, 2017.

  1. Don-mx3

    Don-mx3 Well-Known Member

    Mar 30, 2014
    So. Cal.
    Now you know why I carry that plastic spoon in my shirt when I play golf…I’m efficient!

    The Spoon

    A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

    Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ' Steve’s Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
    It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
    Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
    'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
    As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

    I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
    'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
    By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
    I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

    'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
    Bluedotman, johannvdg, buck3200 and 5 others thanked this.
  2. dgh

    dgh Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    League City Texas, USA
    That is an oldie but a goodie,

    Always worth reading it again..

  3. CharlieAMA

    CharlieAMA TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Jan 29, 1998
    God's Country
  4. smokintom

    smokintom Well-Known Member

    Dec 28, 2010
    Told my son I needed to cut some wood and needed to borrow a saw. He said no problem Dad, i`ll bring you one to use. He brought me this. He`s a good boy. 15965589_1331240483605335_2538197331010640663_n.jpg
    MackC85, joe kuhn and buck3200 thanked this.
  5. Pull & Mark

    Pull & Mark Well-Known Member

    Mar 9, 2006
    Not bad!!! Not bad!!! It wasn't a good belly laugh, but it was a nice chuckle. break em all Jeff
  6. o-hale

    o-hale Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    You are correct, is an old joke but I read it anyway.

    Chain is to loose on that saw.
  7. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Near but not in chicago
    A marine and a naval officer where in a bar, having a few drinks , they were seated next to each other and chatted just a bit. At one point they both needed to use the rest room and went and took care of business. The marine finished 1st turn and went back to his seat, the naval officer followed a bit later. The naval officer sat down and addressed the marine," In the navy they taught us to wash our hands after urinating" the marine looked at him and his response" In the marines they taught us not to pee on our hands"
    Rick Barker thanked this.