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Oh hell let's offend everyone. Humor.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Sep 2, 2010.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Oh hell let

    OH HELL !! ... Let's Offend Everybody !!!!!!


    Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
    A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

    Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
    A. A different bar.

    Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
    A. Sum Ting Wong.

    Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A. A speech impediment.

    Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans On Star Trek?
    A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

    Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

    Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
    A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

    Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...'
    A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

    Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

    A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States
     
  2. Grizzly

    Grizzly TS Member

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    108
    You might be a redneck if your dad is in the same grade as you are or,,if someone yells HOEDOWN,,,,your sister dives on the floor and last but not least, your cousin is also your brother...
     
  3. PerazziBigBore

    PerazziBigBore TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,859
    An Irishman,a black,and a Jew were all sentenced to 50 lashes of the whip..

    First the Irishman.. They asked him what he wanted put on his back before the sentence was carried out.. To which he replied.. bear fat... And so it was done...

    Then it came to the black.. He replied he was a man.. and required nothing at all.. and so it was.. 50 painful lashes..to which he barely winced..

    Last but not least was the Jew.. He looked them dead in the eye.. when they asked him what he wanted on his back.. He replied without a pause.. "The black man"...
     
  4. shutnlar

    shutnlar TS Member

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    If you are a redneck and your parents get divorced..are they still brother and sister???

    Larry
     
  5. BLT4FUN

    BLT4FUN TS Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2010
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    24
    You might be aredneck if you go to family reunions
    just to pick up chicks!

    BLT4FUN, Drew
     
  6. grnberetcj

    grnberetcj Active Member

    Joined:
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    5,680
    How about a Skeet shooter in summer attire?

    Curt

    [​IMG]
     
  7. crusha

    crusha TS Member

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    5,762
    Yeah, but he put it on in the right places...(wink)
     
  8. Pull & Mark

    Pull & Mark Well-Known Member

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    Messages:
    5,416
    Boy this thread turned in a hurry!!! Hear about the guy who asked the pollock to see the dead bird??? He cups his hands over his eyes looks up into the sky looks around and said "Where". This is a great visual type joke. Break-em all. Jeff
     
  9. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    I know I'm offended!!!
     
  10. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,450
    What do you call a mexican baptism? A bean dip.


    Why don't mexicans have olyimpic teams? Because the ones who can run, jump, or swim are already here.


    Why do Italians wear gold chains around their necks? So they know where to stop shaving.


    Why do French people smell so bad? So that blind people can make fun of them, too.


    What happens when a Cuban gets a flat tire? He drowns.


    What do you call a drive bye in Chinatown? A Cappachino.
     
  11. BudsterXT

    BudsterXT Member

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    Ummm. nevermind, my dad reads this stuff and he might tell my mom what I posted!!
     
  12. smsnyder

    smsnyder Well-Known Member

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    You all must be bored,
     
  13. Shooting Sailor

    Shooting Sailor Well-Known Member

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    1,083
    I got kicked out of the country club the other night for playing Trivial Pusuit. The question I was asked was - Where do women have the curliest hair?

    Apparently the correct answer is Fiji.
     
  14. BudsterXT

    BudsterXT Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2010
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    545
    Is there like "a mute button" so you do not have to read a rupulsive reply?

    Can I block "someone"

    Not you Shooting Sailor-- I liked your post!!
     
  15. 391 shooter

    391 shooter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2008
    Messages:
    2,094
    A small 65 year old Jewish man is having a Martiney at a bar, when, a Beautiful hooker sets down beside him and says to him, I will do anything you like for $200.00, without missing a beat, the little Jew man says, "paint my house".



    Now that's funny right there now!
     
  16. Claydotter

    Claydotter Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2010
    Messages:
    406
    Location:
    Rainier , Wa.
    LOL! Great thread Bulge.
    When I was a kid back in the `60`s , there were always lots of jokes similar to the ones you posted flying around.
    That was the way it was. The guys I hung out with represented a pretty broad ethnic mix. Everybody just laughed it off.
    But now, we have become a nation of thin-skinned Pussies,and everyone is "Offended." (and Sues)
    Regards, Pete
     
  17. waverider

    waverider Well-Known Member

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    HI
    Also do you know why there are no Muslims on Star Trek?

    Because it is in the future.
     
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