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O/T They walk among us. Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Shooting Jack, Nov 4, 2011.

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  1. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    3,523
    Location:
    Blackshear, Georgia
    This was funny to me. Hopefully it will make you laugh too.

    They Walk Among Us!
    ----------------------------

    Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
    To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
    Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
    For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
    He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
    So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

    The next day someone stole it!

    They walk amongst us!

    -------------------------------------
    *One day I was walking down the beach with
    Some friends when someone shouted.....
    'Look at that dead bird!'
    Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

    They walk among us!

    ----------------------------------------------------------



    While looking at a house, my brother asked the
    Estate agent which direction was north because
    He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
    She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
    My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
    And has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
    'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

    They Walk Among Us!
    --------------------------------------------

    My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
    When we overheard an admin girl talking about the
    Sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
    She drove down in a convertible, but said
    She 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
    Because the car was moving'.

    They Walk Among Us!
    ------------------------------------

    My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
    Which is designed to cut through a seat belt
    If she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

    They Walk Among Us!
    -------------------------------------------------


    I was going out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
    My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
    Out every time she turns her head!"
    I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
    Remain the same distance apart no
    Matter which way the head is turned...

    They Walk Among Us !
    -------------------------------


    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
    The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
    Because she was a trained professional and
    Said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
    'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
    (I work with professionals like this.)

    They Walk Among Us!
    ------------------------------------------------


    While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
    Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
    Into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
    Then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
    Enough to eat 6 pieces.



    They Walk Among Us!
    And last, but not least:

    Dumb as a box of Rocks

    TRUE STORY:

    A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

    'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

    'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'

    'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

    Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

    Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'





    Sadly, they walk among us!

    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..

    You can't fix stupid.
     
  2. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    10,230
    Location:
    In the Cabana
    Jackie the scary part is everything you posted is true
     
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