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O/T The church gossiper

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Jul 30, 2008.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    The Church Gossiper

    Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
    Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

    She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

    George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
    Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup truck in Mildred's driveway...walked home...and left it there all night.

    You gotta love George
     
  2. Bob Hawkes

    Bob Hawkes Well-Known Member

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    Damn!! You did it again. Thank goodness I just finished my coffee.I think I need a refill on that one. Have a good day Mengwe
     
  3. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    You to Bob. Mike
     
  4. Big Dave

    Big Dave Member

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    Speaking of church ladies.

    Mike walked into work on Monday morning sporting a black eye, a co-worker asked him what happened, Mike explained that he had gone to church the previous morning and after the sermon everyone stood to sing a hymn. He noticed that the woman in front of him had her skirt caught in her butt crack, knowing how uncomfortable that can be he reached up and pulled it out for her. She turned around and gave him the black eye.

    The following week Mike shows up on Monday with both eyes blackened and a split lip, again everyone asked him what happened. He replied that his brother was visiting and that they had gone to church and by chance happened to sit behind the same woman again. After the sermon they stood to sing a hymn and there it was, her skirt caught up in her crack, Mikes brother reached forward and pulled it out, Mike knowing that she didn't like that reached up and tucked it back in.
     
  5. Browning Man

    Browning Man TS Member

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  6. Bvr Tail

    Bvr Tail Well-Known Member

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    The local preacher was visiting a group of ladies at their social when one noticed he wasn't wearing his hat, as he usually did.

    When she asked about the missing hat, he replied that he was pretty forgetful, thinks he may have left it somewhere, but for the life of him, he could not remember where!

    She said " Well, when I loose something, I always go to the Bible, read a few verses, and then it usually comes to me. You might try this trick, too"

    He thanked her, and left soon afterward.

    A few days later, she met him on the street, and noticed he had his hat on. She was overjoyed, and asked him if he tried her suggestion.

    He replied " Yes, I did. I closed my eyes, opened the Bible and when I opened my eyes, I was looking at the Ten Commandments!"

    She said " Is that what made you remember where it was?"

    He said "Yes. As I read through them, I came to the one that says........" Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery!", and that is when I remembered where I left it!!!

    Danny
     
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