1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

O/T Stock Market terms (funny)

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by ec90t, Nov 14, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ec90t

    ec90t Guest

    I thought that I'd share this email with any that wants a chuckle.



    NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS for 2008 and beyond.

    CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

    CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

    BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
    mistake himself for a financial genius.

    BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
    allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

    VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

    P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as
    the market keeps crashing.

    BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

    STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

    STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
    assets equally between themselves.

    FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

    MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down
    the toilet.

    YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for
    $240 per share.

    WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
    bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up
    in a nuthouse.

    PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.


    ec90t
     
  2. Dickgshot

    Dickgshot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,673
    In better times it would be "HA HA" funny instead of just "smile and shake" head funny.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Search tags for this page

funny stock market terms