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O/T...REDNECK HOME REMEDIES

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by bgf, Jul 6, 2008.

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  1. bgf

    bgf Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,589
    Location:
    Prescott Valley, Arizona
    AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

    1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY
    GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU
    CHOP.

    2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING
    THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

    3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT
    YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON
    YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

    4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK
    WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP
    AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.


    5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF
    LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

    6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT
    TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT
    SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.


    7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE
    GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.


    DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT
    REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING .....BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE
    WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
     
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