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O/T On Becoming Illegal. You'll love this!

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by OLD ONE EYE, May 31, 2008.

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  1. OLD ONE EYE

    OLD ONE EYE Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,251
    Location:
    Florida / Idaho
    Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

    The Honorable Tom Harkin
    731 Hart Senate Office Building
    Phone (202) 224 3254
    Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Harkin,

    As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Donald Ruppert
    Burlington , IA

    Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

    Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer
     
  2. Juno

    Juno TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2008
    Messages:
    635
    Funny yet pathetic at the same time. Makes you laugh yet p!sses you off. You know what I mean?

    Juno
     
  3. fearlessfain

    fearlessfain TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2006
    Messages:
    520
    a man named bill jones legally changed his name to miguel hernandes (for obvious reasons)
     
  4. Juno

    Juno TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2008
    Messages:
    635
    Ya? I think I'll change my name to Juno Me.
     
  5. Juno

    Juno TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2008
    Messages:
    635
  6. Chichay

    Chichay TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Joined:
    May 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,866
    This letter might have more impact if he were to send it as an "open letter" to the local newspaper, especially if Harkin is running for re-election this November. Other members of the forum may want to consider doing likewise if your senator voted "aye" to this bill, in order to change the face of the US senate this upcoming election. Chichay
     
  7. Haskins Bill

    Haskins Bill TS Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2007
    Messages:
    777
    Damn and Canada won't let you in to spend money for a day ot two if you had a DUI forty years ago! What is wrong with this picture? Bill
     
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