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O/T Long but what a riot worth the read

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by striper, Apr 3, 2007.

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  1. striper

    striper Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    264
    >>
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    >>> >
    >>> > This is long, but it is sooo funny
    >>> >
    >>
    >>>> >> Subject: Fw: Deer Roping....this is so funny
    >>>> >>
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    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> My name is Gary and I had this idea that I was going to rope a
    >>>> >> deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks,
    >>>> >> then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was
    >>>> >> getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle
    >>>> >> feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a
    >>>> >> bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed
    >>>> >> while I am in the back of the truck not
    >>>> >> 4
    >>>> >> feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it
    >>>> >> and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and
    >>>> >> transport it home.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
    >>>> >> The cattle, which had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
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    >>>> >> They
    >>>> >> were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up,
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    >>>> >> 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the
    >>>> >> end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and
    >>>> >> stared at me.
    >>>> >> I
    >>>> >> wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have
    >>>> >> a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you
    >>>> >> could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I
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    >>>> >> took a step towards it.
    >>>> >> It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received
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    >>>> >> an education.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand
    >>>> >> there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to
    >>>> >> action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED!
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
    >>>> >> stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range
    >>>> >> I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer..no chance.
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    >>>> >> That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
    >>>> >> controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me
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    >>>> >> off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to
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    >>>> >> me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I
    >>>> >> originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as
    >>>> >> much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired
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    >>>> >> and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I
    >>>> >> managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I
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    >>>> >> was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my
    >>>> >> head.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just
    >>>> >> wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I
    >>>> >> figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
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    >>>> >> would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there
    >>>> >> was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated
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    >>>> >> the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
    >>>> >> Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
    >>>> >> cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against
    >>>> >> various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still
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    >>>> >> think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that
    >>>> >> I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were
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    >>>> >> in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death. I
    >>>> >> managed to get it lined up to back in between my truck and the
    >>>> >> feeder, a little trap I had set beforehand. Kind of like a squeeze
    >>>> >> chute.
    >>>> >> I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my
    >>>> >> rope back.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
    >>>> >> would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very
    >>>> >> surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer
    >>>> >> grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like
    >>>> >> being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A
    >>>> >> deer bites you and shakes its head, almost like a pit bull. They
    >>>> >> bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you
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    >>>> >> is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and
    >>>> >> shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer
    >>>> >> was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
    >>>> >> several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
    >>>> >> questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy
    >>>> >> tearing the hand out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand
    >>>> >> and pulled that rope loose.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
    >>>> >> Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
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    >>>> >> their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
    >>>> >> their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that
    >>>> >> when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you
    >>>> >> can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud
    >>>> >> noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will
    >>>> >> usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was
    >>>> >> not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not
    >>>> >> work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy.
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    >>>> >> I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run.
    >>>> >> The
    >>>> >> reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
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    >>>> >> that paws at you is that the re is a good chance that it will hit you
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    >>>> >> in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
    >>>> >> after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil,
    >>>> >> because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of
    >>>> >> the head and knocked me down.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it doesn't
    >>>> >> immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger
    >>>> >> has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and
    >>>> >> down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and
    >>>> >> covering your head.
    >>>> >> I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split
    >>>> >> open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty
    >>>> >> good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my
    >>>> >> back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket
    >>>> >> had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the
    >>>> >> nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered
    >>>> >> in blood and dust and looking like I'd just come from a bar-room
    >>>> >> brawl. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came
    >>>> >> running out yelling "what happened"
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> I have never seen any law in the state of So. Dakota that would
    >>>> >> prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an
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    >>>> >> area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the
    >>>> >> lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their
    >>>> >> power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing
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    >>>> >> laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear, not wanting to admit
    >>>> >> that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my
    >>>> >> response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer." I did not mention
    >>>> >> that at the time I had a rope on it.
    >>>> >> The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my
    >>>> >> jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my
    >>>> >> face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to
    >>>> >> come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did.
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted
    >>>> >> to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare
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    >>>> >> thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to
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    >>>> >> describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was
    >>>> >> filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just
    >>>> >> started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously
    >>>> >> rabid or insane or something.
    >>>> >> EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at
    >>>> >> the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their
    >>>> >> kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers
    >>>> >> carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several
    >>>> >> people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these
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    >>>> >> people every day and as an outsider, a "city folk", I have enough
    >>>> >> trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and
    >>>> >> whispering "there is the dumb-butt that tried to rope the deer."
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> "Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up."
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >>
    >>>> >> ________________________________
    >>>> >>
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    >>>> >>
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    >>> >
    >
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  2. Mac V

    Mac V Guest

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