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O/T Kinda funny. Let's offend everybody

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Shooting Jack, Mar 17, 2008.

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  1. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    3,522
    Location:
    Blackshear, Georgia
    Let's Offend Everyone!











    Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
    A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

    Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A. A different bar

    Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
    A. Sum Ting Wong

    Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A. A speech impediment

    Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
    A. They're hiring

    Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
    A. Because they're not going to work in the future either

    Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
    A. A pimp

    Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

    Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
    A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"

    Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
    A. A northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..."
    A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sxxt."

    Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
    A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.



    Well, I thought it was kinda funny anyway. Jackie B.
     
  2. BIGDON

    BIGDON Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    6,624
    Location:
    Michigan
    You left out one group - are you being "polictically corrent" or "safe"????

    Don
     
  3. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    740
    Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
    >
    >Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than meet the eye.
    >
    >Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates."
    >
    >About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to our house for dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
    >
    >Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
    >
    >
    >______________________________________________________________________________
    >
    >Dear Mom,
    >
    >I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
    >
    >Love, Brian
    >
    >______________________________________________________________________________
    >
    >Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
    >
    >Dear Son,
    >
    >I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jennifer.
    >
    >But the fact remains that if Jennifer was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
    >
    >Love, Mom
    >
    >
    >LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
     
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