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O/T Kids love trains Sat. humor

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Apr 5, 2008.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Aug 27, 2007
    West Central Florida
    : Fw: This Kid's in Trouble!

    > A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her
    >> 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in
    >> the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying,

    >> "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell
    >> off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you
    >> sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on
    >> the train...cause we're going down the tracks."

    >> The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We
    >> don't use that kind of language in this house".
    >> Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay
    >> there for TWO HOURS.

    >> When you come out, you may play with your train...but
    >> I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the
    >> son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.

    >> Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son
    >> say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank
    > >> you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will
    >> ride with us again soon."

    >> She heard her little darling continue..."For those of
    >> you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train.
    >> We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us
    >> today."

    >> As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For
    >> those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay,
    >> please see the b__ch in the kitchen.."
  2. shot410ga

    shot410ga Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    My dad talked like that, and my mother washed my mouth with soap until I learned I was not my dad.
  3. DJM

    DJM Active Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Central Minnesota
    A blond was having trouble getting started on a jig-saw puzzle so she phoned a friend for help. The friend asked, "What kind of puzzle is it?" The blond replied, "It's a picture of a tiger according to the box." The friend decided to come over to the blond's house to help her. When she got there and saw the pieces and the box she told the blond, "Forget it, you can't make a picture of a tiger with this. Now let's put the Frosted Flakes back into the box."
  4. hairy

    hairy TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some
    rectum deodorant.

    The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they
    don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.

    Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying
    the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

    'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.'

    'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde. 'Do you have the
    container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.

    'Yes,' said the blonde , 'I'll go home and get it.'

    She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who
    looks at it and says to her,

    'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'

    Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container
    back and reads out loud from the container .

  5. hairy

    hairy TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint .


    When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said..

    "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"


    The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

    So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala
    where they enjoyed a few joints.

    After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry"
    and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

    The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
    over and fell into the river..

    A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and
    helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard..

    "What's the matter with you?"

    The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
    was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
    got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

    The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked

    into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was

    sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,

    "Hey you!"


    So the koala looked down at him and said....


    "Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude......

    How much water did you drink?!!"
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