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O/T Joke Time

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Shooting Jack, Feb 20, 2008.

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  1. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Jul 29, 2006
    Blackshear, Georgia
    One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

    "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replied, "No."
    The Lord again dipped into the river.. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

    "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
    The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

    "Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

    Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

    The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

    "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

    Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and woul d not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
    And so the Lord let her keep him.
    The moral of this story is:

    Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
    All Us Women
  2. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    The Game Warden sneaks up on a fellow hunting ducks and asks to see his catch so far
    The hunters says fine , go ahead
    Game warden grabs a big Teal and sticks his finger up its butt and then put the same finger in his mouth and says 'this duck is from New York..you got a New York hunting license boy?
    Why yes sir I do...and sure enough he produces the license from his wallet.
    The warden looks it over and says Hmm..okay and hands it back.
    Then the warden grabs another duck and again, he jams his finger up the deceased birds butt...then takes the finger from the butt to his mouth and after a quick taste he states..this here is a Louisiana duck boy!.Y'all got a Louisiana huntin' license.
    The hunter says confidently "Why yes sir I do" and again out of his wallet he pulls a piece of paper and hands it to the warden who looks it over closely and then hands it back.
    The warden is ticked off not being able to catch the hunter in some wrong-doing...and asks "Boy just where the hell are you from?"

    The hunter turns around and drops his drawers and bending over says " I don't know boss..you're so good why don't you tell me!
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