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O/T Humor Does this apply to you?

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Shooting Jack, Aug 31, 2011.

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  1. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    3,522
    Location:
    Blackshear, Georgia
    *** Adult Truths ***

    1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.



    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.



    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.



    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.


    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?


    7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



    10. Bad decisions make good stories.



    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.


    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.


    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.


    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.


    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.



    16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.



    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.



    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?



    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!



    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.


    22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



    23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.





    24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.



    Ladies.....Quit Laughing.



    Heal the past, live the present, dream the future.



    Enjoy life!!!
     
  2. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    3,522
    Location:
    Blackshear, Georgia
    Fixed it for easier reading. I don't know why it got bunched up like that. Jackie B.
     
  3. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    10,253
    Location:
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    Jackie, they all apply to me, especially #14
     
  4. Hal1225

    Hal1225 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2009
    Messages:
    442
    I read it. Thanks.

    Harry
     
  5. Dickgshot

    Dickgshot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,676
    One of the best threads of recent times. Every one applied to me.
     
  6. jerryw

    jerryw TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    337
    Very good.Everyone of them applies to me. lol
     
  7. spenwall50

    spenwall50 TS Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Messages:
    20
    I just turned 24... Every one applies to me as well
     
  8. GW22

    GW22 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2008
    Messages:
    6,246
    Those are hilarious and, yes, many of themm apply to me.

    -Gary
     
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