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O/T Cat Facts

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by biff, Oct 13, 2008.

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  1. biff

    biff Active Member

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    Things you need to know about cats!

    1. Smart cats are afraid of large dogs.

    2. Do not hold a cat in your lap when there is a large hyperactive dog rushing up to your chair.

    3. DO NOT try to hold a cat thinking it knows you will protect it from the dog!

    4. Cats claws will penetrate thin teeshirt material and can penetrate fully into skin.

    5. Cats teeth are almost as sharp as their claws and can penetrate both sides of a trigger finger joint!

    6. Cats are smarter than most stupid people and have ways of helping educate the less mentally endowed!

    7. It is hard to get a cat out of a tall tree long after all hyperactive dogs have left the vivinity!

    8. Do not try to remove a cat from a tree using a ladder over 20 ft off the ground: Refer to rule #4!

    Happy to share this information one finger typed message. Thanks, Biff
     
  2. bobdog

    bobdog Active Member

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    Instructions on how to clean your toilet:

    1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

    2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

    3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

    4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually really enjoying this.

    5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse".

    6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

    7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

    8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
     
  3. Norm

    Norm TS Member

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    A much better method for 'cleaning the toilet' is to use a 5 to 10 gallon flusher toilet and place cement block on the closed lid after the obligitory
    5 to 10 flushes and possibly the cat will have pulled it's dissapearing act and is on it's way to the city logoon, then Happy Days will return.
    Signed: non-feline lover
     
  4. Singleshot

    Singleshot Member

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    Congratulations, Norm, you're first up in the a-hole line.
     
  5. gun fitter

    gun fitter TS Member

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    Only 1 rule. The only good cat is a dead cat. Unless you live on a farm and have a rodent problem.
     
  6. Bob Schultz

    Bob Schultz Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

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    One of my customers is a retired fireman and he related this amusing cat story to me a couple of years ago...

    Seems that back in the good old days the fire department would come and rescue cats from trees if there was nothing else going on at the station. My friend Tony, was on duty one day when a call came from a woman whose cat was in a tree and could not be coaxed down. They arrived on the scene and Tony told the lady to get a small bowl of water for the cat ... she said the cat would not come down for cream so why water. Tony said it was an old firemans trick, so she went to get the water. Tony and his partner then tossed a grappling hook over the branch of the tree where the cat was perched, pulled it down about 3 feet and let go! The cat vaulted up in the air and landed on all 4 feet (from about 30 feet up) and ran to the house!

    Bob
     
  7. jeffprigge

    jeffprigge Active Member

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    had her since a kitten 1999 . warning !!! only likes me and Treatlady , is bipolar and suffers from overeating, A. D. D. , A.D.H.T. , NCAA , NAACP , ESPN and ESPN 2. favorite play toy is an emtey hull , no preference win . or rem.
     
  8. Rem870TB

    Rem870TB Active Member

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    "suffers from overeating"

    Me too :(

    "favorite play toy is an emtey hull , no preference win . or rem."

    She never got caught up in the old stle AA vs the new, two piece style AA arguments?

    Taz is an 18.7 pound (not so much fat, just LARGE) orange tom, showed up in the ditch beside my place 10 years ago, he is "altered" and stays indoors. He runs Q/C on the reloading operation. He prefers Windjammers, maybe for the cost or the patterns; more likely because those eight wad petals sound like feathers when hit.
     
  9. Jerbear

    Jerbear TS Member

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    Have some fun.....


    Jerbear
     
  10. mette56

    mette56 Well-Known Member

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    Wish I knew how to post a picture of "breakfast" at our house. 24 indoor cats that we saved from the flood last year. 10 outdoor cats we rescued expanded to 23 during our recovery from the flood (lived for 3 months in our 19' motor home with all these cats...indoors), then we adopted one who adopted us. Now we have a wild momma cat with 4 kittens living on our front porch. Jimette doesn't shoot anymore because emptying 4 cat boxes two times a day is a job you can not leave behind for even a half day...believe me. And I'm a guy that used to hate cats...love dogs (still love dogs). Our cat food and litter bill each month is more than our people food and toilet paper cost.

    Yep, we're crazy, but love each and every one!

    milt (as my late mother would say.."you must me nuts!")

    :)
     
  11. laura!

    laura! Member

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    "You must me nuts" ?? I really want to know what "must" means ;-)


    Experiment with cat

    Hypothesis: Cats require whiskers for balance

    Material: cat, 2nd story window, scissors

    Step 1: Drop cat out of window 10 times. Record how many times it lands on all 4 feet

    Step 2: Cut whiskers off of only 1 side of the cat. Drop cat out of window. This step may not be repeatable.

    This experiment was conducted back in 1977 with a really bad tempered Siamese. We discovered whiskers are important to a cats balance!
     
  12. mette56

    mette56 Well-Known Member

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    Laura,

    "Must" (in my mom's case) meant DEFINATE, ABSOLUTIVE POSITIVELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT!

    And she was correct on most if not all occasions.

    But I love those little critters...

    milt
     
  13. biff

    biff Active Member

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    9. Waiting time at Urgent Care can take less than 1 1/2 hours, not in my case!

    10. Filling out complete medical history forms will be 1 less than being asked, "Whose cat bit you?" The only person in the waiting room who didn't ask was the one who sneezed on me twice!

    11. Needles used at U C are sharp, but leave a tetnus and antibiotic deposits in your hip and shoulder which feel like a cement block.

    12. U C pharmacist laughed and said "We've had a run on cat bites lately, was it your cat?"

    13. Over 80% of cat bites get infected.

    14. Cats don't respond to a dirty look! At least mine doesn't. Biff
     
  14. Tron

    Tron Supporting Vendor Supporting Vendor

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    Cats can NOT stand a stare down. They lose every time and usually go on the offensive....it can be very funny.
     
  15. wolfram

    wolfram Well-Known Member

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    #21) Cats eat better food than dogs. Thats what my lab says anyway, that stinky canned cat food is A#1 premo stuff and worth a fight in his mind.
     
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