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O/t A little Sat. humor to start the day.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Dec 6, 2008.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Location:
    West Central Florida
    After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

    It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then slid his hand across her shoulders and neck, slowly worked it down over one breast, then the other, stopping just over her lower stomach.

    He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over and then in between her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

    He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful. Why did you stop?'

    'I found the remote,' he said.
     
  2. Frank C

    Frank C Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,866
    good one bulge....

    An Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long
    flight. The lawyer is thinking that Irishmen are so dumb that he could put
    something over on them easily...So the lawyer asks if the Irishman would
    like to play a fun game.

    The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines
    and tries to catch a few winks. The Italian lawyer persists, and says that
    the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the
    answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer,
    I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Irishman's attention and to
    keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

    The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to
    the Moon?' The Irishman doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out
    a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

    Now, it's the Irishman's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
    three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and
    searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
    the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he
    finally gives up. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him $500. The Irishman
    pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

    The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Irishman up
    and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with
    four?'

    The Irishman reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to
    sleep.

    Don't mess with the Irish.
     
  3. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    BIGUNN, I keep a copy of that in my wallet hoping one day I will have the opportunity to tell someone all about the Schitt family. Bulge
     
  4. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

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    BIGGUNN, THAT WAS A PRETTY SCHITTY STORY. LOL rg
     
  5. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,650
    No one believes seniors . .. . everyone thinks they are senile.

    An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

    Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd20shared, where Andy had carved 'I love you, Sally.'

    On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of a n armored car, practically landing at their feet Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money. It was five hundred thousand dollars!!!

    Andy said, “We've got to give it back.”

    Sally said, “Finders keepers.”
    She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

    The next day, two F BI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door.

    “Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

    Sally said, “No.”

    Andy said, “She's lying. She hid it up in the attic.”

    Sally said, “Don't believe him, he's getting senile.”

    The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.

    One says, “Tell us the story from the beginning.“

    Andy said, “ Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ……. ”

    The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, 'We're outta here
     
  6. Frank C

    Frank C Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,866
    Sex In The Shower

    In a recent survey, African Americans have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!



    In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm 'Brut', a huge 86% of African Americans said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.




    The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison.
     
  7. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
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    5,055
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Bulge, you are one funny dude
     
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