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O/T A Little Police Humor

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by michshooter, Mar 1, 2007.

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  1. michshooter

    michshooter TS Member

    Jan 9, 2006
    These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

    #16 "You know,stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC. "

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
  2. tonyd642

    tonyd642 TS Member

    Jan 26, 2007
    It's necessary to keep your sense of humor when you deal with people all day. Unfortunatly good people think that the only thing Officers do is write tickets. Mostly beacuse that is usually the only exposure good people have with the police. I have been doing police work for many years and every time I think I've seen it all, something even stranger happens. Cops come in all sizes and colors and attitudes do vary. Next time you feel like you have been treated unfairly please contact the supervisor and voice your opinion and please blame the man wearing the uniform. P.S., I havn't written a speeding ticket in years, so it wasn't me.

    Tony D
  3. Tripod

    Tripod Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Iowa man!!
    In Clive Iowa the police began issuing tickets using cameras to watch folks run red lights. The ticket would include the fine and a photo of their car running the light. One fellow thought he would be funny and sent the cops a photo of money for the ammount of the fine. the cops had a sense of humer too, they sent him back a picture of a set of handcuffs.
  4. IM390

    IM390 Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Kinda of reminds me of when I complained of all the speeders on a residential street. The police didn't catch one speeder all day they told me a week later, but they did cite 40 some people for running a near by stop sign. lol
  5. grnberetcj

    grnberetcj Active Member

    Jan 29, 1998

    That's a good one, but my all time favorite is the story about a Police Officer stopping a man for speeding and it was late in the Officer's shift, so the P.O. tells the speeder if he can give a good reason for his speeding, then he would not write him a ticket....

    So, the speeder tells the Officer that he saw him running radar but sped up because last week his wife ran off with a Police Officer and he thought that the Officer was stopping him so as to give his wife back!

    Curt - Delaware State Police (Retired)
  6. Ken X

    Ken X TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    How about when the cop said "Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" and the driver said "Your eyes look glazed, you been eating donuts?"
  7. alfermann66

    alfermann66 Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    All good, but Ken X wins the prize. I busted out laughing at that one.

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