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O/T A little Humor

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Shooting Jack, Nov 9, 2008.

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  1. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    3,523
    Location:
    Blackshear, Georgia
    A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

    The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

    'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand these here are my pet fish.'

    'Pet fish?' 'Yeah. Every nigh t, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'

    'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

    The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth, Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

    'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

    The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

    After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

    'Well, what?' says the redneck.

    The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

    'Call who back?' 'The FISH', replied the warden!

    'What fish?' replied the redneck....................



    Moral of the story:



    We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.



    You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north, do ya?
     
  2. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,666
    Location:
    West Central Florida
    ShootinJack I loved it. I've been thinking of moving south so it really hit home. Mike
     
  3. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    3,523
    Location:
    Blackshear, Georgia
    A line that we've heard on Tv for years. Come on Down. As I sat in my deerstand yesterday I just had to sit in awe at the beauty of the trees. A lot of them have that bright purplish color as they change. My wife thinks we have to go to the mountains to see this ever so often. As for as down South, you will find some wonderful folks, just as I did while traveling all over the US of A. Jackie B.
     
  4. Bubba

    Bubba Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    232
    Location:
    Baton Rouge Louisiana
    Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
    feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

    One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and
    figured
    maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
    for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only
    time they
    ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived,
    so he was
    unable to find out what had happened to him.

    A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
    but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there
    sat
    Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
    Then
    he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to
    you?"

    Bill replied, "I have been in jail."

    "Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

    "Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde
    waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?"

    "Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

    "Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
    years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I
    pled 'guilty' ;

    "The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury."
     
  5. Browning Man

    Browning Man TS Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
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    293
  6. nspktr1

    nspktr1 TS Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Messages:
    336
    Shootin Jack. You want to see beautiful leaves check out Sam's Gap! I-26E just before the NC line. Come on down!
     
  7. Rebsmith

    Rebsmith Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    159
    Bubba.....That story reminds me of my service as a juror on the local Grand Jury. The case in question was of an older gentleman of 81 years who was accused of a similar offense. Before we could decide on a "true bill" or throw it out, the charges were dismissed but the judge told us we had to return a verdict anyway. I suggested we charge him with "assualt with a dead weapon" and the whole panel went up in laughter, including the judge. When we finished laughing one of the older ladies on the panel was horrer stricken that she had not been told that he had a gun!! The panel went wild again and the judge had to explain to her that it was joke.

    Jere
     
  8. RickN

    RickN Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    3,043
    Location:
    Minnysoda
    Two Words

    A teacher said to her class, "From the outset, I want you all to know there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom. You cannot use them as you recite or on any of your papers, tests or homework. Using the words even once will earn you a failing grade for the quarter. The first one is 'gross' and the other one is 'cool.' Are there any questions?"

    A student says, "So, what are they?"
     
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