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NOT STIRRING THE POT-- TIME FOR SOME HUMOR

Discussion in 'Shooting Related Threads' started by Phil Kiner, Dec 28, 2008.

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  1. Phil Kiner

    Phil Kiner Well-Known Member

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    Time to lighten things up.

    Below is a post of mine from about 6-10 years ago. The original post had to do with superstitions and Karla (Trapwife) posted about the ninja turtle bandaids being one. Then someone mentioned the fact that I frequently wear women's panty liners on my shoulder and wondered if that was superstition or necessity.

    Those comments prompted the following reply.

    OK. Time to tell the rest of the story for those that do not have a clue about a couple of the comments are referring to. However, first I must say that Karla must have a helluva memory because I had forgot all about the teenage mutant ninja turtle band aids it until now. The mutant ninja turtle band aid story occurred at the Grand probably about 1988 or 89. I slipped and really gashed my shin on the steps of one of the wagons. Of course I had no band aids and then like a guy let it go a day or so. So after a couple of day it wasn’t healing quite right and I needed a band aid. Karla had some of the teenage mutant ninja turtle ones for kids and put a couple on my shin. If I recall correctly I had not been shooting all that well and when the band aids went on I won a trophy. So then, I had to wear them for the rest of the shoot.

    The pads. First, I want to say that I am extremely disappointed and disillusioned that I have not received a multi-million dollar endorsement contract from Kotex. The only thing I can figure is that they are anti-gun.

    As Paul Harvey says “Now for the rest of the story.” My shoulder has a tendency to get raw under my t-shirt after 3 or 4 days and then start bleeding while I am shooting. This was the middle of a several day shoot and during the previous event I left the line bleeding quite a bit. My T-shirt was pretty bloody. So before the next event Annabelle (aka Lou Ann aka Mrs. Old Mn Gopher) and Margaret (Eric’s wife) brought me several choices in the “feminine protection” line since it was obvious that it was “that time of the month” for me. They made a huge deal of presenting them before the event started thinking that they would embarrass me (of course that did not work). Well, I looked at the panty liner (as opposed to the maxi pad etc) and thought that that it might actually work. I took it and put it on my shoulder inside of my shirt over the bloody spot and low and behold it worked. It worked better than anything I had tried so, I started using them regularly and still do. I have suggested them to lots of shooters since then and they actually work very well for this situation. Kotex brand is best and Care Free is second best.

    The next piece of the story is that several of us including Jody, were playing cards after one of the events. My pad was bloody so I took it off making sure Jody was watching. In the sadly mistaken thought that I might embarrass her I showed it to her and asked if she would help me put the next one on. She immediately relied that she would do so but only if I helped her put hers on. So now you have the rest of the story.

    Once again, thanks to everyone and as you can see from above you need to watch out trying to pick on the women because you will never get ahead of them.
     
  2. 22hornet

    22hornet Well-Known Member

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    Phil, did that panty liner leave you feeling "fresh"?
     
  3. Phil Kiner

    Phil Kiner Well-Known Member

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    NO cause I dont use the scented ones, they sting if you have raw skin.
     
  4. Setterman

    Setterman Well-Known Member

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    Buy stock in Kotex. There will be a shortage of product just before the Grand.
     
  5. Uncle Sam

    Uncle Sam Member

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    I see this as an admission that Phil pads his scores......Uncle Sam, Pa.
     
  6. crusha

    crusha TS Member

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    Heck, I've fashioned Tampons into serviceable ear plugs for years. They even have a handy string for pulling them out.


    I've even drawn up plans for a "how-to" book and a website to promote it (only for the benefit of those of you who don't have access to an Ob-Gyn, of course).


    Now, if I could only think of a title...
     
  7. Jawhawker

    Jawhawker TS Member

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    Thanks Phil :) By that suggestion and that suggestion alone concerning the use of tampons has made me having the availibility of them for certain females over the years in distress remarkably popular. They have a somewhat astonished look when you initially produce one. They Iam sure have some really wierd thoughts initially but then all is well when there thought process recognizes me as having them....
     
  8. Hap MecTweaks

    Hap MecTweaks Well-Known Member

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    Phil, that was funnyyyyy!! Reminded me of something I did years ago on a SXS Winchester double I was shooting for trap. I too used one of the monthly gizmos to raise the comb on that field stock! Of course, I wrapped it with black electrical tape to completely cover it! Worked well too, I won the days shoot the first time out with it in a raging wind storm!

    Shooting my model 12 in CA during the hottest months, sweat would create a drag on my cheek and make it raw. Being the tweaker I happen to be I fixed that problem too! I used a lady's calf high stocking hose by cutting out the toe and gluing a rubber band inside it to hold firm in the pistol grip area. Another rubber band at the back on the roll-over stock and wallah!! NO more cheek hickeys!!

    At the Tucson Autumn Grand year before last, I ran into a couple of old friends from CA I hadn't seen in years! Both remembered my odd way of solving the cheek problem and the gun I was using! I can't tell you exactly what I said to the guys years ago when telling them what type of panty hose I'd used. Lets just say I told them it definitely kept my head buried on the stock though, mighty important stuff!! :)

    Hap
     
  9. KENENT1

    KENENT1 Active Member

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    a guy would have to have a lot of empty space between his ears to use 2 tampons for ear plugs!!

    lol


    tony
     
  10. matttrapn

    matttrapn Active Member

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    Phil,

    Thanks for sharing. I have thought of you as a resoucseful individual from day-one, but I will admit from this text, I am surprised on the extent of your "out-of-the-box-thinking". Thank you in advance, if ever needed, I am certain these remidies, I shall remember!!!

    Hope your Christmas was GREAT, and your New Year even better....

    Matt
    P.S., please do not feel that you need share any constipation issues, IF, the topic ever surfaces.
     
  11. Jerry944t

    Jerry944t Well-Known Member

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    You know Phil you told me about pantie liners a long time ago. I must have mis-heard you since I had ear plugs in at the time and for some reason I thought you put them inside of your hat.

    Anyway since I really sweat and it runs into my eyes I put a pantie liner in my hat just as I though you had suggested. They work much better than headbands or anything else I've tried. I just try to avoid changing them in public because of the strange looks.
     
  12. Phil Kiner

    Phil Kiner Well-Known Member

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    No but, I did tell you that I had seen that. With my uses it prompted other shooters to share their new found uses with me. Even that was not enough to get a good endorsement contract from Kotex.
     
  13. otnot

    otnot Active Member

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    I don't know an easy way to tell you this Phil so here goes. Your the wrong gender to be a Kotex model. LOL I just can't see you on tv explaining all the other uses for Kotex products. And it just conjures up images I don't ever want to think of again. LMAO

    Jim
     
  14. Jawhawker

    Jawhawker TS Member

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    shootlow, now that Iam coming_out_of_the_closet, yes I love buying panty hose in quanity too.
     
  15. racer

    racer TS Member

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    Lite days or Overnighters? Any difference in recoil? Dan
     
  16. Quack Shot

    Quack Shot Active Member

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    Do they make them in Camo?
     
  17. Dr.Longshot

    Dr.Longshot Banned Banned

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    Bob Allen will now be offering KOTEX shoulder replacement pads, but at $29.95 a box of 12.
     
  18. 12Gagejon

    12Gagejon Member

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    Buzzgun do they havem in Mossyoak for hunting? Jon
     
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