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New Economic Stimulus Plan???

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by huntinandhotrods, Aug 24, 2011.

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  1. huntinandhotrods

    huntinandhotrods Member

    May 11, 2010
    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

    Q.. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
    Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
    A. From taxpayers.
    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
    A. Only a smidgen of it.
    Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
    A.. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
    A. Shut up.
    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs..
    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...
    * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:
    1) Spending it at yard sales, or
    2) Going to ball games, or
    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
    4) Beer or
    5) Tattoos.
    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

    Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
  2. esoxhunter

    esoxhunter Well-Known Member

    Mar 15, 2006
    I need some of these "Obama dollars" to assist me in the purchase of a used Perazzi. Note that I'm not greedy; as I am not asking for a new Perazzi!! So, I'm asking our leader to send me maybe a token amount of maybe $5000. If the Perazzi runs more than that; I will borrow the extra money from my brother in law and forget to pay him!! The American way, right?? Wait!!! I need to edit this.. I understand we need to support our country. Therefore forget all that Perazzi crap and change the name of Perazzi to a Kolar! There that should settle it..
  3. Big Heap

    Big Heap TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    I'm not a Starbucks man. I like my coffee black and don't have the patience to wait in line behind folks ordering froufrou coffee that takes forever to order and longer yet to produce. But I like the CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz.

    Schultz has a plan, Democracy 21, which calls on responsible citizens and corporations to boycott political contributions until our elected officials stop working for the lobbyists and the next election, and start working for us.

    We have a Tea Party, maybe now is the time for the "Coffee Party" led by Mr. Schultz.

    Taking money away from politicians reminds me of the old joke - How do you make a hormone? - - - You don't pay her.
  4. Rick Barker

    Rick Barker Well-Known Member

    May 25, 2009
    Idea is fine with me, but the Dem leaning business will still contribute.

    Wasn't Warren Buffet in the news today, saying he was going to throw some sort of fund raising bash to help Obama?

    Guess he is out of the closet for sure now.
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