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never trust a fart

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by George Steffes, Jan 18, 2012.

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  1. George Steffes

    George Steffes TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    149
    Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
    Walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

    One student said to his friend:
    "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.
    Those people walk just like that."

    The other student says:
    "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
    He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

    Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him
    And one of the students said to him,
    "We're medical students and couldn't help
    But notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have.
    Could you tell us what it is?"

    The old man said,
    "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

    The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

    The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

    So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

    The old man said,
    "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
     
  2. trappermike

    trappermike Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,097
    Called a shart.
     
  3. mette56

    mette56 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Messages:
    2,025
    Location:
    Camdenton, MO
    Thanks! Saved me a trip to the doctor...

    milt
     
  4. dhip

    dhip Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,473
    Location:
    westgrove,Pa.
    I heard the same statement mentioned in th Movie Bucket List

    Doug H.
     
  5. Claymuncher

    Claymuncher Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2011
    Messages:
    837
    Good one.......... Keep them going.....



    The wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that "help" get an erection. You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills !



    I am still looking for a place to live.
     
  6. Tommy67

    Tommy67 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2008
    Messages:
    90
    Claymuncher....that was funny!!!!...BTW do you have any tips on shooting with one eye?...my wife didn't think it was as funny as I did.

    Tom
     
  7. Claymuncher

    Claymuncher Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2011
    Messages:
    837
    Tom : Congradulations, you must be an excellent shot with the old one eye. Did she scream?

    CM
     
  8. Gold Medal

    Gold Medal Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    343
    TABLE OF FART VELOCITIES

    Fizz

    Fuzz

    Physical

    Sulphur

    Whoopoopanany

    Tear Ass

    Rattler

    Cannon Blast
     
  9. Shooting Coach

    Shooting Coach Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2006
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    8,357
    Location:
    Nashville Tn
    Can't trust a liberal, either, for the same reason.
     
  10. 635 G

    635 G Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Messages:
    6,219
    Martha & Floyd are in church. She passes a note to Floyd--it says I just did a silent fart. He sends her a note---its time to change your hearing aid batteries.

    Phil Berkowitz
     
  11. Mike

    Mike Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    536
    "Splatter Fart", most embarrassing of all farts, probably should'nt be called a fart at all
     
  12. RWT

    RWT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,553
    You old farts are SICK>>>
     
  13. wolfram

    wolfram Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2007
    Messages:
    6,260
    One of the many benefits of having a couple of bird dogs around you all the time is you can always blame the shame on them. Once you have passed the buck snort off you can then proceed to rate the quality of said expulsion. Something like 'gee that one had some hang time' ......
     
  14. gotbass

    gotbass Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    734
    'gee that one had some hang time' wolfram - I cracked a rib or two last week and need your address to forward the bill for the walk in clinic after the hang time crack. After I use that one on the wife on one of those under the covers greasy reekers I will need more than a walk in clinic.
     
  15. Rebsmith

    Rebsmith Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    159
    You gotta go here and spend some time!!

    http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm

    Jere
     
  16. chuckie68

    chuckie68 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2012
    Messages:
    1,839
    Location:
    Royal Oak, Michigan
    Definition of a suprise?
    A fart with a lump in it!
     
  17. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,857
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    Ahhh..nothing more endearing than a good old fashioned "Dutch Oven"
     
  18. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,857
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    http://denimandlace.50megs.com/1bigone.html....give this one a go
     
  19. LUGNUTZ426

    LUGNUTZ426 TS Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    855
    Calvin

    Thanks alot....I laughed so hard my shorts resemble a wiring diagram.....

    "white with a brown tracer"

    ps Has anyone seen the now famous bathroom scene in "hall pass"
     
  20. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

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    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    Thanks LUGZ...i hope it left you with a nice mental picture too ; )) Never saw hall pass but the scene in American Pie with the kid they gave the laxative to was a scream too
     
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