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My wife just left me...

Discussion in 'Shooting Related Threads' started by ysr_racer, Mar 8, 2010.

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  1. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer Active Member

    Joined:
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    for a ten day business trip to Italy. :)

    They say there are 5 stages of grieving: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

    I've got a plane ticket to Arizona and a prescription for Jose Cuervo.

    Look at that, I'm already at Acceptance.
     
  2. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    9,861
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    a case for the medical journals for sure!
     
  3. Landshark

    Landshark Member

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    Mini-lottery........Now that's funny!
     
  4. MAL-53

    MAL-53 Member

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    Does your wife have a one way ticket?
     
  5. birdtracker

    birdtracker Active Member

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    Do you know how to make her stay alittle longer. After she has her luggage packed, take a road side flare and duct tape an alarm clock to it and hide it in the bottom of her carry on bag. It works everytime! I guarantee it! Birdtracker
     
  6. Jeff P

    Jeff P Well-Known Member

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    What a coincidence....my wife and daughter left me Friday to go to visit her mom for a week.

    I win three ways: I don't have to visit with her folks

    The house is QUIET

    I can sleep past 6 am...my daughter always wakes me up at 6 on Saturday. I'm a morning person, but it was awesome to sleep to 730 this saturday...

    Man, I've had ribeye's two nights already...glass of scotch after each...loaded some shells...

    It's been good. But I'll be ready for them to come back.
     
  7. Ziff

    Ziff TS Member

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    A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

    Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
    The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
    The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
    The woman kept quiet and left.
    Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
    "Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
    "Which present?" She asked.
    "The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
    "Oh, that" she said
    "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl !!!"

    Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!
     
  8. PerazziBigBore

    PerazziBigBore TS Member

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    Now THAT was funny... My wife comes back Thursday from Italy.. She will bring back coffee and olive oil...
     
  9. Kim Little

    Kim Little Member

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    Location:
    Washington D.C.
    Ladies Man,
    You should have known that most women, including myself, come home unexpectedly from a trip. It keeps our husbands honest...or in your case might have led to her being your ex. Kim
     
  10. trapperwads

    trapperwads Well-Known Member

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    My younger brother has had real serious problems with women over the years. He says his first wife left him...and the second one ...won't!
     
  11. shadow

    shadow Active Member

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    Does she trust you to be nice while she is gone. Or did she take her diaphram with her ?
     
  12. H82MIS

    H82MIS TS Member

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    The three most terrible words you could ever here while your making love,,,,






    "Honey I'm home"
     
  13. LFT687

    LFT687 Member

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    Reminds me of an old joke.

    A guy comes home and says to his wife, "Pack your bags, I just won the lottery!"

    "Should I pack for a warm climate or a cool climate?" she asks.

    "I don't care where you go as long as you get out!" he replied.
     
  14. nipper

    nipper TS Member

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    i am sure she is on business ummm hmmmmmm
     
  15. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer Active Member

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    >> Does she trust you to be nice while she is gone. Or did she take her diaphram with her ?


    The joke's on her. Twenty minutes after she left I called the credit card company and reported her cards stolen :)
     
  16. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    My ex left nearly 7 years ago to the day. It almost seems like yesterday. The time I was with her felt like an eternity:)

    ss
     
  17. crk

    crk Member

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    Ziff, that was good!
     
  18. pdq

    pdq Member

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    A wife wakes up in the middle of the night, house pitch black and her husband not in bed. As she sits there, she hears a strange noise coming from down stairs and she decides to explore. Grabing a flashlight she makes her way down, notices the door to the basement open, and realizes that the noises are coming from down there.

    As she goes down the basement steps she pans the flashlight around the room and spots her husband curled up in a fetal position in the corner, still in his pajamas, sobbing softly. Worried for him, she goes over and softly says "Darling, what's wrong, how can I help?"

    He says "Do you remember that before we were married we told your dad that you were pregnant?" She thought for a moment and then said "Yes, I remember that". "And, do you remember how he then told me that either I marry you and make you an honest woman, else he'd make sure I was thrown in jail for 10 years?". The wife answers "Yes, I remember that too".

    "Well", he said "today's the day I'd be getting out".

    Pete
     
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