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My 6 year old grandson was punched in the face

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by senior smoke, Mar 23, 2011.

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  1. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Hello:
    I stopped to visit my daughter yesterday afternoon and she was upset. She told me that my 6 year old grandson was punched in the face at school by one of his class mates that has Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder -- also referred to ADD or ADHD -- is a biological, brain based condition that is characterized by poor attention and distractibility and/or hyperactive and impulsive behaviors. It is one of the most common mental disorders that develop in children. Symptoms may continue into adolescence and adulthood. If left untreated, ADHD can lead to poor school/work performance, poor social relationships and a general feeling of low self esteem.

    My grandson told his teacher after the incident what happened. There was a witness that said that my grandson was just standing there and this other child just came up to my grandson and punched him in the face.

    My daughter who was at one time a grade school teacher herself, discussed this matter with my grandson's teacher and the principal. She was told that this child who hit my grandson at first lied and denied hitting him, but later admitted to punching him in the face.

    The boy's parents supposedly said that their son has no friends due to the way he acts, and they are thinking of taking him to see a doctor to evaluate his medication.

    Obviously these kids are only 6 years old, but no one wants their child to become a punching bag. Any ideas from anyone out there? Do any of you have or know of a child with Add? Any input would be appreciated.
    Steve Balistreri
     
  2. bhuber

    bhuber TS Member

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    My wife is a teacher and has seen this ADD or ADHD many times. She says that though there are real cases that need treatment alot of time Parents and teachers (not her) try to get kids diagnosed as ADHD just to get them medicated to calm them down. What 6 year old isn't a little hyper and excited? Alot of times parents hide behind a disorder (ADHD) for example instead of saying that their child is a problem and giving them a good old fashioned red bottom for doing the wrong thing. Seems that parents and teachers now want medicated zombies instead of just discplining a kid and teaching them how to act. Just my opinion, and like I said there are exceptions.

    Brent Huber
     
  3. Michael Gregory

    Michael Gregory Member

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    Steve - I do have a bit of experience with add/adhd... I am no expert, but do have some opinions. Basically, I agree with everything that Brent said. My wife does not believe in spanking, but me, if it was my kid who punched someone in the face unprovoked, they would get a REAL red bottom, just for starters. ADD/ ADHD or nothing, it'd be the last time I'd get that call! Feel free to call me if you have questions, I'd be happy to discuss. (760)788-8888. Mike
     
  4. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Brent:
    I never thought of it that way. I don't remember ever hearing about Add when I was a child. Hopefully, if the child really has Add, and I have no evidence to believe otherwise, I hope he can get continued help.
    Thanks for your response,
    Steve
     
  5. grunt

    grunt TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Mike, Here in Kalifornia that red ass would get you arrested for child abuse.If the child reported it.
     
  6. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Dave and Mike:
    I called my daughter and read what you guys wrote. She felt your responses were helpful. I grew up in the 50's and early 60's. When I first heard about what happened I said to my daughter, did he hit him back? My wife jumped all over me when I said this? I believe at 6 years old things will just naturally work themselves out. I know nothing about Add, maybe I am wrong.

    When I was a kid there was a bully in my neighborhood. When I was 10 years this kid gave me my first shiner. My dad had a fit and taught me how to box as he was a boxer in the Army air core for awhile. Two years later I had a run in with this same guy and he never bothered me after that altercation again. In this day and age, things have certainly changed. I am nor endorsing that children fight, but I bring this up as how things were handled back in the 50's and 60's compared to today.
    Steve
     
  7. dverna

    dverna Active Member

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    If someone has a disorder that makes him a danger to others it needs to be "addressed". If his actions cannot be "controlled" (medication and/or punishment) he needs to be removed from those he can harm.

    People should not live in fear of "misfits". We will kick a kid out of school for carrying an army action figure but "accept" a punch in the face form a boy with a "condition". Something is wrong.

    Suing the parents is one option and suing the school is another if it happens again. Write them both a letter stating the consequences of not addressing "their" problem.

    Don Verna
     
  8. wolfram

    wolfram Well-Known Member

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    You are dealing with the victim's side of this which is your grandson. What he needs to know about the kid that punched him is that the act wasn't a personal attack or in any way his fault. One of life's hard lessons - crap happens. You can teach him how to get his guard up and protect himself better should he see this coming again.

    As to the ADD kid, if that really is his problem then his parents tanning his backside won't help a thing - actually it just amplifies the bad behavior. One thing is for sure, you aren't in a position to correct that child. Unfortunately it takes a lot of trying times on the parent's part along with good medical help to get through this. What you can do is have a talk with the kid's parents and get a better idea of what they are dealing with. This isn't the time to make threats or tell them how to raise their kid, it is a time to listen and help where you can.
     
  9. Michael Gregory

    Michael Gregory Member

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    Grunt - LOL - Most unfortunately, I am still in Commiefornia, but I'm ready for em! A lack of this kind of good and proper parenting is exactly one of the biggest problems that our youth today have. I am betting that the reaction of this child' parents will be "what was done to my little angel to cause him to do this?"

    Steve - I would bet that if you had an attorney inform the school district in no uncertain terms that they are held responsible for your grandson's safety, they'd sit up real fast and take notice. I am not at all fond of the use of attorneys, but can tell you from much personal experience that when you walk into a meeting with the school district, and your attorney is at your shoulder, they usually get pretty cooperative. Mike
     
  10. Tripod

    Tripod Well-Known Member

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    I agree Steve. I believe I have a touch of ADD and my mother fully agrees with me. I am not violent at all and although I have struggled my whole life doing boring tasks, when I focus on something specific and am not disturbed, I can usually function pretty good. (except focusing on the target)
    My next door neighbor who was a couple of years older than me would always kind of bully me when we were in a crowd, but yet when we were alone he was fine. One day when I was about 14 or so I stood up to him in the local hang out in front of mutual friends. He was angry I think that I had the audacity to stand up to him in front of others so we kind of wrestled around a bit and both got a little dirty and bloody. He kind of chastised me on front of everyone else when it was over, but I think he knew in his own mind that I would never put up with it again and I may in fact have been big enough to whip him if I had a little more confidence. Anyway that was the end of the bullying from him and a few others who witnessed it.
     
  11. g7777777

    g7777777 TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Forget the ADD issue- that is a red herring

    Simple fix

    1. She writes a letter to the school Board President that she is worried for the safety of her son and other students because of -----------------. She requires them in the letter to provide her with a written plan on how her son and other students will be protected from --------------------

    2. If that doesnt work she contacts an attorney and they file suit or whatever is allowed in that legal jurisdiction against the school board

    3. If she feels the least bit uncertain- have her contact an attorney right now

    Regards from Iowa

    Gene
     
  12. Michael Gregory

    Michael Gregory Member

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    What Gene said... very good, exactly! The only thing that I would change, is that I would have an attorney do step #1, as I believe that this will negate the necessity for step #2 completely, thereby saving everyone lots of $$$. Mike
     
  13. CalamitySJ

    CalamitySJ Member

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    Good idea, let's sue the 6 year old. Better yet, let's blame parents for absolutely everything their kids do! Play out that scenario--parents use a lawyer to write up an edict that states that other parents will 'take control' of their kid and be responsible for their kindergarten hooligan's actions. So little Johnny is out in the playground and gets into a fight about who gets the red swing and before you know it there's a lawsuit. What was the point again? And who's next?

    Be rational here. ADD is NOT a red herring. Maybe the kids has it, maybe he doesn't, but this forum can't diagnose, that's for sure. And anyone who has never experienced the effects of ADD or ADHD hasn't a true indication of how devastating it can be on an individual and/or their relationships with others.
     
  14. Twinbirds

    Twinbirds TS Member

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    Unfortunately, A single incident doesn't make you vicious, multiple unwarranted actions do. Your grandson by todays standards did the right thing, he did what society is training everyone to be,a victim. The school is responsible for the well being of all students. doesn't matter what the childs medical status is. After that, the attacker's parents are legally and finacially responsible for their youths actions. Personally I'd hoped he knocked the attacker on his butt, and then walked away. but then he'd be in trouble for winning. Life sux,
     
  15. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    I am forwarding all of your responses to my daughter and son in law. I do appreciate each of you for the time you have spent to respond. I have to remind myself that these are 6 year old's. I will let you know what happens.
    Steve
     
  16. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

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    Very good explanation Sally.

    Unless anyone have experienced a ADHD or ADD child they have no idea whats going on.

    The only thing I would change on Genes post is let the kid go and hang every damn lawyer for trying to drum up business on the net!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if you don't like my idea I live in Iowa not to far from you, we can talk about it face to face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    An apology is in order but public hanging isn't.
     
  17. g7777777

    g7777777 TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Calamity- you make no sense= get rid of whatever emotional baggage you have

    ADD of ADHD or whatever are red herrings-- no one cares about that or about any anger issues, excuses , etc. No one cares Calamity.

    It doesnt matter what incident we are talking about. A child is at possible risk while in school and other kids also.

    The school and school board have an obligation here -- and they sometimes need to be reminded of that obligation and to respond in writing on how they plan to fullfill it.

    So dont pooo pooo the advice. A lawyer would only sue the school board if they fail to live up to their obligation. That sometimes is needed also. To remind them of the serious nature of the situation.

    Regards from Iowa

    Gene

    PS ---likes to shoot- dont make threats- and dont show your low IQ- and my address is in the phone book. Just another ignorant post by you. If you turn out kids with ADHD or ADD take your anger somewhere else. Yes there is often either a genetic or environmental link from their family. Not always but often.
     
  18. white rattler

    white rattler Member

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    teach your kid to fight back. Trevor Dawe.
     
  19. CalamitySJ

    CalamitySJ Member

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    Uh, Gene, I've got multiple years of University specifically in behaviour modification. I love that you think it's emotional baggage, probably because I'm just a woman, so that certainly makes me emotional, right? Nice deflection strategy. Typically used by those who are unable to amount a logical, concise argument, usually due to a lack of knowledge on the subject.

    Good luck, Steve, and please let us know how this turns out. Regardless of any of our 'emotional baggage' here, I'm sure we all agree that it's about making your grandson feel safe in his own school. I'm sending you my original post in a PM and deleting it from this thread as it really only applies to you personally.

    Off for a good cleansing cry about my life.
     
  20. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

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    Me showing my IQ...LOL

    There is a reason people hate lawyers Gene, and you prove why every time you speak!
     
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