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Moving to Mexico!!!

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Jul 8, 2013.

  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    MOVING TO MEXICO

    Dear President Obama:

    I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

    We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

    We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

    I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Pena Nieto, that I'm on my way over?

    Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

    1. Free medical care for my entire family.

    2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

    3. Please print all Mexican Government forms in English.

    4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

    5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

    6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

    7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

    8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

    9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

    10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

    11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my housetop, put U S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

    12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

    13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

    14. I want to receive free food stamps.

    15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

    16. I'll need income tax credits so that although I don't pay Mexican taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

    17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Government pays $4,500.00 to help me buy a new car.

    18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

    I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Nieto won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

    Thank you so much for your kind help.

    You're the man!!!
     
  2. SeldomShoots

    SeldomShoots Active Member

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  3. Snowjet

    Snowjet Member

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    Bulge, take your medication!!!!
     
  4. Straight50

    Straight50 Member

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    Your are in for it Bulge! When gene7x7 comes to and sees this post he is going to raise more hell that a pet monkey. Get ready......its a comin.
     
  5. beeper

    beeper Member

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    bulge(PA) can we start a TS.com relocation fund for you and yours?

    beeper
     
  6. Kolarpole

    Kolarpole Member

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    Have a safe trip......It won't be to safe when yaaaaaa get there.....run'em"
     
  7. The Stive

    The Stive Member

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    I enjoyed that and I got the humor. It was good for a laugh. John
     
  8. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Naturally that post is sarcasm. But next month (Pray mine sells) we will be on our way to Fl. close enough to the dollar.

    barrelbulge_2008_210873.jpg

    barrelbulge_2008_210869.jpg


    We closed on it Oct. 15th last year. Bulge.
     
  9. perezal

    perezal Member

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    Don't forget your 1 Million Dollar Income Tax. Ask the IRS for your Individual Taxpayer Identification Numbers as soon as you get to mexico. And get one for the whole neighborhood so you can claim them all on your income tax too, heck maybe you can hit 2 Million Dollars. And one last thing you must not forget you can't forget your disability check they give it to Mexicans all the time, but not us US Citizens. Your going to be rolling in the Money. If it all goes well for you I will go join you.
     
  10. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Perez,Al, your first name wouldn't be Alfonso would it? Bulge.
     
  11. trapshooterjoe7

    trapshooterjoe7 Member

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    Hey Mike "ole Budddddy" you got any extra room ? I likes that there free stuff.
    Joe
     
  12. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Joe, once we are there and settled you and your Mrs. are welcome to come down for a visit. Wives can go shopping in Tarpon Springs and we can go to the Dollar or other range. Mike.
     
  13. Tron

    Tron Supporting Vendor Supporting Vendor

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    Adiós and nice knowing you. Perhaps you could haunt some Mexican forums with your Anti Enrique Peña Nieto rants.

    Best,

    Tron
     
  14. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Leaving Pa. not TS.com. Sorry to disappoint you.
     
  15. stokinpls

    stokinpls Well-Known Member

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    I guess it's all in how you look at it.

    Bob Falfa
     
  16. trapshooterjoe7

    trapshooterjoe7 Member

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    Mike, Tarpon Springs has lots of neat shops and places to eat, we spend a day there every winter when we go south. Joe
     
  17. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Doggai, I think that estimate was very conservative. Thank you for the compliment. Bulge.
     
  18. mette56

    mette56 Well-Known Member

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    Bulge...

    No need to go all that way to Mexico. Texas will do for your above stated needs. In 2011 while living in Foat Wurth, TX, we saw an ad in the FTW newspaper job ad section that said..."Wanted, office manager. Must speak some English".

    You'll feel right at home.

    milt
     
  19. collett1000

    collett1000 TS Member

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    That is some funny shit!!! Sad but TRUE
     
  20. grntitan

    grntitan Well-Known Member

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    "............. Must speak some English".


    Notice he said "some" English. That's some messed up chit right there when you have to specify that in the USA. And I have met Milt. I believe him.