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Morning Sex

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by WS-1, Mar 13, 2011.

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  1. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the "T" shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."

    My eyes lit up and I thought, "I'm either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day."

    Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it all, right there on the kitchen table.

    Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her "T" shirt still around her neck.

    Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about."

    "Oh," she explained, "the egg timer is broken."
     
  2. grntitan

    grntitan Well-Known Member

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    Good story but TMI dude. Hope no dinner guests of yours surf here. LMAO
     
  3. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

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    At least my eggs were hard boiled.

    HM
     
  4. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    Attaboy!
     
  5. shooter99

    shooter99 Well-Known Member

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    That reminds me, The definition of a MORNER the same thing as a NOONER but SOONER.
     
  6. shannon391

    shannon391 Active Member

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    Hallway sex: Pass each other in the morning and say, "F- you".
     
  7. razor

    razor TS Member

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    coyote sex, lay by the hole and howl
     
  8. chipking

    chipking TS Member

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    at my age it has become mourning sex :eek:(

    --- Chip King ---
     
  9. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

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    My Ex used to like to have sex around 7 AM, problem was I used to leave for work at 6 AM ... WPT ... (YAC) ...
     
  10. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

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    Wouldn't work for me, my wife calls me "Her Minuteman"
     
  11. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

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    Morning sex is scary for me...I'm always alone
     
  12. birdtracker

    birdtracker Active Member

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    I didn't want to take advantage of myself again this morning, but I knew I wanted it. Birdtracker
     
  13. stokinpls

    stokinpls Well-Known Member

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    Old guy was out in the back yard trying to fly a kite. As soon as the wind hit the kite, it would spin over and hit the ground nose first. His wife yells out the kitchen window, "You need more tail!". The old guy yells back, "Make up your mind woman. Last night you told be to 'Go Fly a Kite!'".
     
  14. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    On Everyone loves Raymond the tv show, Ray told Debra, " I'd like to make love to you all night long. She then said, you will have to start at 11:59 then.
    Steve Balistreri
     
  15. BIG JIM IN BAKERSFIELD

    BIG JIM IN BAKERSFIELD TS Member

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    Do you remember the first time you had sex? Don't you wish someone had been there to share it with...
     
  16. Duck Head

    Duck Head TS Member

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    This is an old one and some of might have heard this:
    A radio DJ had a contest going for a lucky couple who answered some questions correctly sorta like the newlywed game,each had to give the same correct answers. The DJ got a hold of a contestant. The man was at work and the wife was at home. So the DJ asked the man if they had sex this morning and he gave the answer,yes. The DJ asked where they had sex and the man gave the answer,on the kitchen table. So the DJ called the wife and they had a 3 way call going. The questions were the same and she said yes they had sex this morning. OK, 1 right,The DJ asked where they had sex and she hesitated, she said it wasn't in the bedroom because her mom was visiting. The DJ said that's not good enough, tell me the right answer and you go on a vacation.The man said, go ahead honey tell him and we'll win,she said she was embarrassed,hubby pleaded with her..tell him honey!No, No she said..Tell him honey, it's a vacation, So she finally said, "in the a$$!" the radio went dead for a few seconds and went right to a commercial!
     
  17. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Duck Head, that joke has its origins in a Newlywed episode.

    Wikipedia affirms it is not an urban legend: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Newlywed_Game

    And Snopes has the actual sound clip, with the word "ass" bleeped out: http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/newlywed.asp
     
  18. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    Hey Duck,

    Were the eggs that morning soft boiled or...uh...hard?
     
  19. bodybuilder

    bodybuilder TS Member

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    My wife says sex with me reminds her of going to the dentist. He says lay back and shut your eyes and you won't feel a thing!!!
     
  20. esetter

    esetter Active Member

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T5E4cVwyBE

    Here is the link to the actual show where she says, "in the butt Bob"
     
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