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MN DOG SQUAD SHOOTS SOUTHERN GRAND

Discussion in 'Shooting Related Threads' started by Pride Engineer, Mar 12, 2009.

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  1. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    The Dog Squad reports have been slow in coming for this event as I have been so busy trying to properly record all evnts exactly as they happen. You see, the ATA Hall of Fame has decided to add a "Dog Squad" exhibit to the new building soon to be constructed in Sparta, I beleive they plan to call it the Hall of Shame so it's important I take extra care to insure the accuracy of all reports.

    Monday and Tuesday scores were uneventful with the only exception being the Prez's top event score tying 99 in the doubles. At the time this went to press, the carry over results weren't yet posted, or at least this scribe had yet to emerge from his motorhome to see them. Almost Hairless was the top Dog Squad overall shooter in most of the early events, with the Prez just behind. Actually, the biggest contribution the Dog Squad made at the Dollar in these early days was the walleye dinner cooked by The Piddler himself. The Pup decided to practice on this crowd before his future Wednesday feed at the Minnesota State shoot. All reports were positive as even this Florida crowd appreciates Mn walleye. Shooters at the Minnesota state shoot have much to look forward to, just pick out the pieces with dynamite burns on them.

    Wednesday was the day for talent, skill, and determination to show, or at least that's how The Prez put it. He even said good looks too but I can't honestly report that. The owner of the biggest bus, as MIA puts it, retreived 100 in the Class Singles, 98 in the caps, winning the event, and 97 in the twin retreives. No other Dog really shined this day although there were two 99's in the singles, Almost Hairless, (his third in a row) and The Schnauzer. The poor Piddler did find 98 in the singles but his blazing 79 in the caps shut him up quick, at least until he bounced back in the doubles with a 96. He actually had a chance for a Prez tying 97 until the old choke collar got him on the second to last pair. The day ended with a late dinner at a local feed lot. The Prez buying of course to celebrate his record setting day, where as he put it, he was so dominate "even Kay and Leo were too intimidated to shoot against him in the shoot offs." Truth be known, I think they just decided to let the Prez pooch have one.

    This report wouldn't be complete of course without the coverage of the side show events that seem to follow this pack of dogs where ever they retreive. First, I must report The Piddler, who brought his pack buddy Sewer Dog with him from Dalute, Mn, probably created the biggest stir at the Silver Dollar. You see, he and his buddy, are spending the night at the kennel of the club cook. Now if you think I'm headed towards stories of the camp cook, you're correct. It seems the poor female type was unable to report to work the first two mornings, leaving the Dollar crowd waiting for their food. Now we know it couldn't have been due to just The Piddler, it's common knowledge his nick name comes from being a little pup and we all know the size of their equipment. No, her delay to report could only have been due to some kind of team effort with The Piddler receiving assistance from his buddy, Sewer Dog. Now we are investigating all the evidence thoughly and hope to have the case resolved in say, nine months.

    It used to be this report wasn't complete until we covered the antics of our leader, The Big Dog. But I must say, we just don't have anything to report. The Big Boy has been acting a bit strange, almost human even. No evidence of the Big Dog normal antics. There has been no butt sniffing, no marking of the trap house or scorers chair, no licking of those certain parts, no misfires into the ground, no stories of 150 pounders, no, the big guy has been behaving himself. Of course this comes at a price. He has not recorded a decent retreiving score all week. Is it age? Is it the loss of his rotund shape? Only time will tell. Check here on Trapshooters for the next update.

    Reporting live from sunny Florida, where the temps have been in the 80's all week (Sorry Minnesota), Mark Zauhar with cub reporter Lindsay Zauhar
     
  2. below 0

    below 0 TS Member

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    Shoot straight...bust em all...Dale Otis
     
  3. The Loud One

    The Loud One TS Member

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    Good Shooting Mark! Keep the reports coming.
     
  4. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    The Dog Squad almost had another trophy today. The Piddler was able to earn his way to the shootoffs with a 96 in the days caps. Unfortunately, he fell short (short is no surprise for The Piddler) in the shootoffs, beating most of the competitors but in the end losing to All American Tank Lunsford. We were all proud of the Piddler though, coming back from yesterdays 79 to record 96 retreives today is some kind of improvement. The Prez was second to The Piddler with 93 and Almost Hairless and The Schnauzer both stayed in the low 90's with only our leader, The Big Dog dropping to the 80's. In the doubles, The Prez blew a chance to win a carry over with a 96. He lost to Chris Vendell,
    another one of those darn, good shooting All Americans. The Prez was disappointed to say the least but both he and The Piddler didn't mind losing to such good people, especially after they both gave it a good try. The rest of the squad came in slightly below The Prez in a bit of a windy doubles event.

    Tomorrow we shoot doubles and handicap. The Dogs are starting to retreive well so maybe there will soon be more hardware coming back to Minnesota. Also on tomorrows agenda is a prime rib feed. The Prez will be cooking this time giving our Piddler a break. The prime rib feed was very successful last year and we are expecting 50-60 people tomorrow. Everything should go well as long as we can keep The Big Dog away from the food line. He has a tendancy to stand at the meat tray and growl at people trying to fill their plates. Most people have learned his growl is worse then his bite but some seem to be offended when he starts some of his other habits detailed above. Oh well, The Big Dog is truly one of a kind.

    One side note, The Schnauzer again brought his favorite bitch type along with him again this year. Penny The Poodle left no doubt who pees highest on the tree in their kennel. When asked if The Schnauzer would be following the dogs to San Antonio for the SW Grand, Penny The Poodle simply said NO!

    Mark Zauhar, student of Walter Cronkite, reporting live from the Silver Dollar, under sunny skys and 85 degree heat. Sorry Minnesotans.
     
  5. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    Well the Southern Grand is over and the results are now final. I have a few interesting things to report. The Piddler came away with no trophies once again. He did say he would have won a trophy with his tournament and career high 96 on Thursday but they ran out of trophies just before his score came up! The Big Dog went home empty too! In fact, The Dog seemed a bit lost this week. He was last among the squad in most events and finished very last in total retreives. Not even the double birds were kind to our hero, he never finished among the squad leaders even once. We have all decided he's just lying in the bushes, setting up another Southwestern Grand slam. Remember, it was there a few years back when The Dog burst on to the scene winning class B everything, chasing the tattoo lady and begining this trap marking ritual he is so famous for. The Schauzer did nothing in the way of great scores. He did have a few credible events. He had a 99 in one singles and a 92 in the final handicap. Not bad, but where was the brash dog we have seen in the past? Could it be Penny The Poodle has finally tightened the choke collar and snapped on the leash? We'll have to wait for the Grand American to find out because The Schnauzer is going to be a runaway Dog for the SW Grand, a no show even. My, it's amazing what one good female bitch type can do to a guys freedom. Almost Hairless started the tournament strong, winning one class AA runnerup doubles trophy and leading the squad in a few events. At least he showed some old spark and unlike The Schnauzer, did not appear to be turned into a capon by his favorite female bitch type pooch, Cindy. This pair plans to be in San Antonio, note who's the lead dog here Schnauzer. Like Almost Hairless, The Prez finished with one trophy also, winning the Wednesday Handicap event. He failed to come through in a couple of other carry overs though, so despite winng the squads best trophy, he came away a bit disappointed to say the least.

    Now for some exciting news. We have received an application for membership from one shooter who may meet some of the squads qualifications. It seems one John Smolinkar from Dalute, Mn is interested in joining the group. We have already dubbed this pledge the moniker "Sewer Dog" for his past employment credentuals. We thought he might be a great fit. He's a class D doubles retreiver, a short yardage sandbagger, and can't shoot singles worth a lick. Oh, did I mention he retreived two trophies this week? The Dogs need someone to add meat to the game bag. Rumor has it that his winnings were proudly displayed on the dash of The Piddlers car for the return trip home to Minnesota. The Sewer Dog may not be able to shoot, but at least he has some Dog Squad flair!!

    There is one more piece of news that I must share even though my sources for this are not 100% trustworthy. It appears we also have an application from another shooter with questionable shooting abilities and ethics, seems to fit right in ya know. The Litterist from pasture pie Mo. has indicated his strong desire to retreive with the Dogs. Now we have had our eye on this canine for a couple of years. He has some interesting qualifications. He has, first of all, a large mouth. This is, of course, very important as it can handle game of any size. He also is very brash, some might even conclude he is "cocky," but not in the same manner as our leader, The Big Dog. Although he is of less then average intellect, we think being around the pack will possibly elevate him to say, the third grade level. He also, in the manner of our leader, has some interesting sexual preferences. But unlike the Dogs preference for 150 pounders, this newbe likes fuzzy four legged types. Talk about supplying this reporter with story line! Now if we can get him to escape from his locked and padded kennel in Mo. we might let him have a field trial with the dogs at this years Mn. State shoot.


    Reporting live from sunny Florida, the last Dog standing, Mark Zauhar and his favorite copy writer, Lindsay Zauhar
     
  6. Duluth Fatboy

    Duluth Fatboy Banned User Banned

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    Well Prez the Sewer Dog collar slipped off and I heard he is heading south in hunt of more trophies, and the Big Dog is going to give him a run for is hand cuffs. How is Lindsey after the dramamine wore off? I heard it was a rough ride on Friday night, maybe that is why you didn't shoot so well on the champion singles.
    See you in the warm Texas sun in a few weeks.
    Reporting in the snow covered tundra the Piddler
     
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