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MN DOG SQUAD SHOOTS IOWA STATE SHOOT

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Pride Engineer, Jul 23, 2008.

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  1. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    Look forward to another week of exciting tails as the Dog Squad attempts to once again claim victory in Iowa. You may remember last year the dogs were howling when Almost Hairless took the NR Handicap Championship and the Prez captured the singles crown. This year the Dogs are missing a few canines though as The Schnauzer is absent and Almost Hairless might be a late arrival. The Dogs are resilient though. They have already added Winona Hound, no relation to the Judds, as a leadoff barker in place of the Schnauzer. Holding down Almost Hairless's favorite number four hydrant will be Wheel Dog from Nebraska. The Dogs maybe rascals at times but for sure they aren't prejudice against Nebraskans. Despite the many shellackings the Cornhuskers have laid on the Gophers, the Dogs welcomed Wheel Dog into their group, at least for a day anyway.

    Today it was just the Prez, The Piddler, and our leader, The Big Dog making retreives. Yesterday it was only the Piddler and the Prez competing. Tuesdays scores found the Prez rather easily exterminating the poor Piddler. The Prez found 100 singles, 95 caps and 96 two birds. The Piddler was caught sucking hind booby with 95, 89, and 91 in the twins. Let us just say the Piddler was not a contented pooch after this first day. It seemed he spent all night in the corner of his camper, cuddled up in a ball, licking the very things Jesse Jackson recently made famous and vowing to get even. Today the Prez continued his domination in the singles and doubles with a 100 and a 97. The Big Dog and the Piddler both rose to the challenge though, finding 90 and 92 in the caps to beat the Prezs 88. The Prez did manage to again capture the high over all for the days retreives, leaving The Piddler to the corner of his camper for another night of you know what.

    But enough of this retreiving stuff, the real story always lies in the between event action. You know, the time when butts are sniffed, ears scratched and that sort of stuff. Todays side action seemed to be centered on the thin, new shape the Big Dog now presents. The big pooch has slimmed down so much we may soon start calling him Slim Dog. I think in fact we would already have started except that he was always called the Big Dog and not because he is tall you know.

    Well, it's getting late, some of the Prez's many new found fans are pounding on the door wanting autographs. It seems the Prez is rumored to have Big Dog like dimensions in certain areas and the female dogs seem to be responding to the rumors. We'll keep you posted as this story breaks.

    Reporting live from the soggy ISTA home grounds, Mark Zauhar, your rover reporter.
     
  2. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    Day three of the Iowa field trial is in the books. Once again the Prez swept the field with a 99 in the singles, 91 in the caps and 96 in the doubles. All but the singles score was high on the squad. In that event, Wheel Dog came through with the perfect 100. The Big Dog was close with 98, 91 and 90 something in the doubles. The poor Piddler was last in all three events. He is trying a new custom built comb to acomodate his strange gun mount. His muzzle seems to creep further ahead on the stock every shoot. At this rate, he will soon be shooting a 20 inch stock!! The Piddler is looking more and more like a greyhound with a gun.

    Now on to the real stories. The Big Dog is really committed to his new found slim shape. After a hearty meal at the local cook your own cow restaurant, the Piddler, The Prez, and Precious Pam all retreated to the local Cold Stone Ice Cream Parlor. The Big Dog would have none of it though. He went back to his motel kennel to scratch himself and rest up for tomorrows retreives. The Big Pooch seems a bit strange with his new found appearance. There have been no signs of his previous behavior. No marking the scorers tables, or even the trap houses. The Big Guy has been an almost perfect dog. He has even failed to notice when a female type with the requisite 150 pounders walks by. We are worried the Big Dog may have actually undergone the single most scary procedure a canine can endure, he may have been neutured!!! All we know, is if he has faced the knife, somewhere there is a large shopping bag laying quite full!!

    Tomorrow Almost Hairless joins the squad. Hopefully he will bring some more excitement to the group, or maybe the Dog will find his past self and become the media attraction he is so famous for. Look for the report here on Trapshooters.

    Mark Zauhar, covering the media frenzy here in Iowa.
     
  3. ric3677

    ric3677 Well-Known Member

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    Mark,

    That wasn't very nice to mention the cold Sone parlor. Ours here in tiny Great Falls hasn't opened yet and I am eagerly waiting. Yummmm

    shoot well and have fun.....Rickyd
     
  4. grunt

    grunt TS Supporters TS Supporters

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  5. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    Fridays numbers are in the books and it was another great day here at the Iowa State shoot. It was a bit overcaste this morning but the doubles were just hanging there to be broken, and the Dogs really wacked them today. The Winona Hound found 97 as did The Big Dog. The Prez and Almost Hairless retreived 98 and the poor Piddler was again at the last faucet with a 96. Not a bad team score for a bunch of Dogs. Almost Hairless shot off for NR, AA runnerup but lost out in a close one to fellow Minnesota shooter Glen Linden.

    In the caps, the Prez once again showed his metal with a 98, winning long yardage NR. Almost Hairless was nearly there with a 94, The Big Dog brought back 91, The Winona Hound found only 88 saving the Piddler from another last place finish with his 90. The Piddler does have an excuse for his weeks dismal display of retreiving though, he's been revamping his gunstock trying to make his round stock fit a block head. The poor pooch some how has confused the "block headed lab" syndrome with shooting. We think maybe he's just plain blockheaded mentally.

    The real story today is of course, the Big Dog. You may have read the previous tails above about his vastly more svelt appearance. Well, after much investigating, we have now discovered the reason behind this great slim down. It seems he is in preparation for the Olympic Games in China. Yes, our lead dog is going to compete in the triathalon. He's been in serious training for the past several months. Now you might ask why would a former Green Bay Packer, former WWF superstar, and the world record holder in the number of porn movies filmed, need to even train. Well this is a different triathalon. The contestants must eat 23 pounds of BBQ ribs, drink a whole quart of Jack Daniels, and then carry their girl, with the requisite 150 pounders of course, for 26 miles. This is the redneck version of the real triathalon.

    Well, tomorrow we get the championship single retreives. Last year The Prez and Almost Hairless really stood out from the field. Will they both find all 200 again? Will The Prez defend his NR Championship? Will The Big Dog begin to rise to the challenge, and we don't mean that part of him ladies!! Will The Piddlers stock modifications finally prove fruitful? Will the Winona Hound finally look like a Minnesota Dog instead of just a plain dog? Check here tomorrow for the days summary.

    Your famous canine reporter, President of the Dog Tails fan club, and heir apparent to The Big Dogs "why they call him The Big Dog" title, Mark Zauhar.
     
  6. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    Well Saturdays shooting is now history and the Dogs did very well again this year. They started great with all pups running the first fifty singles. Then on the third box, the Piddler caved in to the presure. On the fouth box, our hero, The Big Dog dropped two. The rest of the dogs cleaned the first hundred though, for a great start. In the second hundred, Almost Hairless missed on his first post. On the second box, Winona Hound dropped his only target in the event leaving just The Prez in the running. The Prez hung tough and ran the two hundred for the third year in a row at Iowa. In the shootoffs, there were several AAA NR's but one by one they fell. After 375 straight shoot off targets there were still four shooters in the race including the now tired Prez. It was agreed to speed up the targets and on the first box, all but the Prez lost targets leaving The Prez the NR Champ for the second year in a row. Now to say he was a bit excited was an understatement. The Piddler was immediately sent to the Prez's dog house to stretch the door opening. In fact, it appeared the Prez 's head was so swollen, it would be unlikely he would have enough blood left to get some other of his parts swollen enough for a celebration in the Prevost tonite with Mrs. Prez.

    Tomorrow we shoot the handicap and Almost Hairless will attempt to match the Prez and repeat as the NR handicap winner. It will be tough as most of the ATA's top dogs are here and they have been shooting well.

    Well, I'll have to cut this one short tonight as the shootoffs lasted nearly five hours and this old reporter is played out.

    Reporting live from the land where the Dogs rule, Mark Zauhar
     
  7. ric3677

    ric3677 Well-Known Member

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    Well done Mark, Well done.

    Rickyd
     
  8. WoodsonEnt

    WoodsonEnt Active Member

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    Congrats Mark!

    Matt
     
  9. dward

    dward Member

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    WOW............you know Mark I've watched you shoot and always knew you were one of those guys that shot a lot and shot well.........but 600 straight?????? holy Sh_t...........you can call it any kind of fortitude you want, but as far as I'm concerned you are one of the elite shooters in the sport!! I'm proud to know you come from our home club!! Congrats - Dan
     
  10. lju

    lju Member

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    I know all of you "dawgs" are proud of your Prez, but let's not forget one other tough competitor, the runner up in that marathon shoot-off, Tal Seger. We're very proud of you!

    lju
     
  11. Pride Engineer

    Pride Engineer Member

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    The shoot is over and the Dogs howled again on Sunday with Almost Hairless netting himself a NR long yardage runnerup trophy and newcomer Winona Hound winning second NR overall in the days handicap championships. The dogs closed the weeks events with 2-92's, a 95, a 97, and the 99 by Winona Hound. The Prez retreived the 95, Almost Hairless the 97, and the Piddler was able to escape the last boob spot again with a 92 thereby tying our leader, the Big Dog. It was a great week of reteivng by the dogs and a special well deserved tail wag goes to the entire crew at Iowa for putting on such a great shoot despite the adversity they had to overcome.

    This report of course couldn't be complete without telling some of the strange stories that seem to acompany this bunch of tail waggers. It seems that Winona Hound was so impressed with being able to retrieve with the dogs that he has made an application to become a permanent member of the Dog Squad whenever they find themselves competing in Iowa. Now we have a difficult time understanding this request. Sure, he retrieved well with the squad. Yes, he seemed to fit in. And yes, it's always great to retrieve with good retrievers. But you would think the embarrassment of having a large crowd of women, (The Big Dogs Groupies) laughing loudly at your spindly legs, would be enough to deter a dog from competing with the Dog Squad. Of course, it could be that The Winona Hound just likes the attention from the ladies, even if it's not for the right reasons. It also might be he too is partial to the 150 pounders sported by The Big Dogs female admirers.

    Something needs to be said about our slowly sinking Piddler too. The pup is struggling you know. It seems retrieves on flat ground, devoid of grass, have even started to give him trouble. He keeps adjusting his stock, hoping the missing element can be found with a screw driver and wrench. We hope when he gets home, Precious Pam can some how find the answer to the problem for The Piddler. He's planning on retrieving most of the whole grand and thinking about all those potential lost birds being left afield makes one hungry.

    Then of course there is The Big Dog himself. He's turned into such a health freak, it's hard to imagine him ever being the Jack Daniels drinking, former pro wrestler, former Green Bay Packer, former porn star he used to be. Yes, our star of 724 feature porn films has gone soft, and we aren't talking about soft in the sense you might be thinking. Remember they don't call him Big Dog because he is tall! No, The Big Dog has almost gone so far as to become, gasp, a Liberal Dog. How do we know this you ask, well, in the past, whenever a hot bitch type dog strolled by, The Big Dog would utter a deep growl followed by a loud bark. At Iowa, it seems his tone has now changed. Oh, the hair still stands up on his back, yes his tail, (located in the front) does still stand erect, and he does still tend to leave his scent on the scorers stand, the trap house, and others retrieving bags. But after he utters his famous low growl, he now loudly goes Barack, Barack!!!! What has happened to our hero you ask? Rumors, as yet unconfirmed, have him as the leading Vice-Presidential candidate for the Democratic Party!! Think of it, he'll likely bring the Hillary Clinton supporters into the Democratic fold. Our hero, going to Washington. I always knew I was making him famous but this is beyond expectations.

    Reporting from the Big Dog for VP election headquarters in Mpls, MN, Mark Zauhar
     
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