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Missing joke

Discussion in 'Shooting Related Threads' started by Ted K., Mar 22, 2010.

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  1. Ted K.

    Ted K. Member

    Feb 8, 2009
    Tiburon, CA
    I desperately need to find the story which appeared here a while ago where a liberal apologizes to a mugger for not having more money with him, etc.

    In return for finding that story, I offer this one, which is happening more and more to me:

    Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

    Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
    Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

    Recently,I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -

    This is how it manifests itself:

    I decide to water my garden.
    As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
    I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage,
    I notice mail on the porch table that
    I brought up from the mail box earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

    I lay my car keys on the table,
    put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
    and notice that the can is full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back
    on the table and take out the garbage first.

    But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
    when I take out the garbage anyway,I may as well pay
    the bills first.

    I take my check book off the table, and see that there is
    only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in
    the study,so I go inside the house to my desk where
    I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

    I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
    the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

    The Pepsi is getting warm, so I decide to put it in the
    refrigerator to keep it cold.

    As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,a vase of flowers
    on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

    I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading
    glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
    I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm
    going to water the flowers.

    I set the glasses back down on the counter,fill a container
    with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
    Someone left it on the kitchen table.

    I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
    I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that
    it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in
    the den where it belongs but first I'll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it
    spills on the floor.

    So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and
    wipe up the spill.

    Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
    planning to do.

    At the end of the day:
    the car isn't washed
    the bills aren't paid
    there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
    the flowers don't have enough water,
    there is still only 1 check in my check book,
    I can't find the remote,
    I can't find my glasses,
    I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

    Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
    I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
    and I'm really tired.

    I'll start all over again tomorrow . . .
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