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Minnesota Declares war humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by arend003, Dec 24, 2011.

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  1. arend003

    arend003 Member

    Sep 29, 2008
    Declares War on the USA

    President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office
    when his telephone rang.

    "Hello, President Obama," a heavily accented Norwegian voice said.
    "'Dis here is Sven,
    over here at the Muni Liquor Store in Menahga, Minnesota.
    Ve don't like some a yer policies
    so I am callin' to tell ya
    that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

    "Well, Sven," Barack replied,
    "This is indeed important news!
    How big is your army?"

    "Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation,
    "there is myself, my cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Ole,
    and the whole pool team from the Muni "

    Barack paused,
    "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army
    waiting to move on my command."
    "Wow," said Sven,
    "I'll haf ta call ya back!"

    Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again.
    "Mr. Obama, da war is still on!
    We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

    "And what equipment would that be, Sven?" Barack asked.

    "Vell sir,
    ve got two combines,
    a bulldozer,
    and Sigurd's farm tractor."

    President Obama sighed.
    "I must tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks
    and 14,000 armored personnel carriers.
    Also I've increased my army to one and a half million
    since we last spoke."

    "All right den, said Sven. "I'll be getting back to ya."

    Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day...
    "President Obama, da war is still on!
    We have managed to git ourselves airborne!
    We up an' modified Ole's ultra-light vit a couple'a shotguns
    in da cockpit,
    and four boys from the coffee shop haf joined us as vell!"

    Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat.
    "I must tell you, Sven, that I have
    10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.
    My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided,
    surface-to-air missile sites.
    And since we last spoke,
    I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

    "Two million you say?," said Sven,
    "l'll haf' to call you back."

    Sure enough, Sven called again the next day.
    "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that
    we have had to call off this here war."

    "I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack.
    "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    Vell, sir," said Sven,
    "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's yust no vay
    ve can feed
    two million prisoners."

  2. kiv-c

    kiv-c Member

    Nov 30, 2009
    Good thing Sven didn't tell him about the order he placed for 10,000 septic tanks. As soon as they figured out how to drive them they were going to start the invasion!
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