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mengwe???

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Juno, Aug 25, 2008.

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  1. Juno

    Juno TS Member

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    Anybody heard from Mike? I wonder if he had his heart surgery? If you're out there Mike, hope all is well.


    Juno
     
  2. magic

    magic Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
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    Location:
    Mount Sterling, OH
    Been talking to him on email.....

    JASON
     
  3. Bob Hawkes

    Bob Hawkes Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
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    3,915
    I miss his great sense of humour. I hope that all is well with him. Thanks for the laughs Mike. Bob
     
  4. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    6,450
    yup, I get a laugh from people every time I wear that Pittsburgh shirt that he gave me. Wore it at the Grand, and wore it yesterday.
     
  5. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Recurvy, it's a Pittsburghese shirt. Murray
     
  6. nspktr1

    nspktr1 TS Member

    Joined:
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    I'll post this and we'll all make believe it is from Mike. Hope you enjoy!

    A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life.
    On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and
    begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and
    drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and,
    using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the
    shark-infested sea to a remote island.

    Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his
    head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing.
    She's also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes
    his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to
    get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful
    and says, "My God, you saved my life!"

    He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!

    Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island
    together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and
    they're in heaven. Cindy's fallen madly in love with our man, and
    they're making passionate love morning, noon and night.

    Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum.
    "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks, "We have a wonderful life
    together, I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there
    anything I can do?"

    He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my
    shirt?"

    "Sure," she says, "if it will help." He takes off his shirt and she
    puts it on.

    "Now would you put on my pants?" he asks.

    "Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says.

    "Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your
    face?" he asks.

    "Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does.

    Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the
    island?"

    She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in
    the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few
    minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and
    says, "Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"
     
  7. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Location:
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    Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

    The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

    Chuck replied, 'Well, then,just give me my money back.'

    The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

    Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

    The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?

    Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

    The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

    Chuck said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

    A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

    Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.'

    The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

    Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'



    Chuck grew up and works for the government.


    This guy must be Jewish also. Murray
     
  8. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,057
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    You guys are good but your not the T.S. com Prince of Humor. Mengew is the Prince I got a quick email from him two days ago, he said "I've been banished" my response"tell me who's responsible so I can start sending hatefull emails" Well let's ee what goes on from here he made no mention of surgery in the eamail.
     
  9. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Bruce, you know who asked me to shoot this one at you.Murray
     
  10. nspktr1

    nspktr1 TS Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Messages:
    336
    One more for Mike!!

    Subject: Today's best joke

    It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez,
    the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

    The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.

    "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
    She s aw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.

    "Patrick Henry, 1775."

    "Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the
    people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"

    Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

    The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is
    new to our country,
    knows more about its history than you do!"

    She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"
    "Who said that?" she demanded.

    Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

    At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher
    glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

    Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

    Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

    Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher,
    "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

    Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said,
    "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
    Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice,
    "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

    The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor,
    someone said, "Oh ****, we're in BIG trouble now!"

    Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

    Finally someone throws an eraser at Pedro,
    someone shouted "Duck!"
    Teacher asked "Who said that?

    Pedro: Dick Cheney 2006!
     
  11. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    9,854
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    PETITION to have Mengwe re-instated:
    1) CalvinMD
     
  12. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??

    The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume,

    Then slaps his wife on the backside and says: 'You're next, fatty.'

    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.

    Man says: 'This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache.'

    Wife replies: 'I think you'll find that is a sheep.'

    Man replies: 'I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep'

    -------------------------------------------------------- -----------

    A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

    He asks, 'What are you doing?'

    She answers, 'I'm moving to London .. I heard prostitutes there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free.'

    Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
    When she asks him where he's going, he replies, 'I'm coming too I want to see how you live on £800 a year'.

    ------------------------------ -------------------------------------

    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g pack of bacon

    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

    While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selection that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
    The drunk replied, 'Cos you're ugly.'

    ----------------------- --------------------------------------------

    Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really upset. She told him 'To morrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT HAD BETTER BE THERE.'

    The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out of the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

    Confused, she put on her robe, ran out on to the driveway and picked up the box.

    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
     
  13. trapshootin hippie

    trapshootin hippie Well-Known Member

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  14. mette56

    mette56 Well-Known Member

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    Camdenton, MO
    3. Mette'r

    (Hope I don't get deleted)

    Mengwe...COME BACK!!!....Come back mengwe....:(
     
  15. chessney

    chessney TS Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
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    4. Ziggy
    Mengwe come back. Just give us the name of the humorless mod who banned him....Ziggy
     
  16. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

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    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    Up for Mengwe
     
  17. sbhced

    sbhced Member

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    5.sbhced
     
  18. 22hornet

    22hornet Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
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    Hanford, CA
    6. hornet
     
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