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Men are just happier people

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by andybull, Jun 19, 2010.

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  1. andybull

    andybull Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    885
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Men Are Just Happier People



    NICKNAMES

    · If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

    · If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Sh-t for Brains.



    EATING OUT

    · When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

    · When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



    MONEY

    · A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    · A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



    BATHROOMS

    · A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

    · The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



    ARGUMENTS

    · A woman has the last word in any argument.

    · Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



    FUTURE

    · A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    · A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



    SUCCESS

    · A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    · A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



    MARRIAGE

    · A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    · A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



    DRESSING UP

    · A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    · A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



    NATURAL

    · Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    · Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



    OFFSPRING

    · Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    · A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.





    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
     
  2. black_wal_nut

    black_wal_nut TS Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2010
    Messages:
    132
    totaly agree, now i get how she always gets the last word.

    steven
     
  3. ntgr8

    ntgr8 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Messages:
    681
    After being married to the same woman for 58 years, 9 months and 11 days counting all leap years I inly need to know 2 words. YES DEAR.
     
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