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Men are happier

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Sep 17, 2010.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,676
    Location:
    West Central Florida
    This may have been on here before. Let me know and I will delete. Bulge.


    Men Are Just Happier People




    NICKNAMES

    · If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

    · If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D**khead and S**t for Brains.




    EATING OUT

    · When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

    · When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.




    MONEY

    · A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    · A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.




    BATHROOMS

    · A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

    · The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.




    ARGUMENTS

    · A woman has the last word in any argument.

    · Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.




    FUTURE

    · A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    · A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.




    SUCCESS

    · A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    · A successful woman is one who can find such a man.




    MARRIAGE

    · A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    · A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.




    DRESSING UP

    · A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    · A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.




    NATURAL

    · Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    · Women somehow deteriorate during the night.




    OFFSPRING

    · Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    · A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.







    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!







    SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.







    "In my many years I have come to a conclusion
    that one useless man is a shame, two is a
    law firm and three or more is a congress."
    -- John Adams
     
  2. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    HAW...
     
  3. PerazziBigBore

    PerazziBigBore TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,859
    I fully concurr..
     
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