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Little Johnny the salesman. Humor. good one.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Apr 18, 2012.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Well-Known Member

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    Little Johnny the Salesman

    The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
    Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”
    “Very good”, said the teacher.

    Little Jenny was next. “I sold magazines” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”
    “Very good, Jenny”, said the teacher.

    Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath.
    Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467”, he said.

    “$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”
    “Toothbrushes”, said Little Johnny.
    “Toothbrushes”, echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”
    “I found the busiest corner in town”, said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

    They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog crap!”
    Then I would say, “It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the President Obama method of giving you something crappy, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it’s free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth.”
    Little Johnny got five stars for his efforts, bless his heart.
  2. RickN

    RickN Active Member

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    LOL

    Could be a Little Mikey joke too.
  3. huntinandhotrods

    huntinandhotrods Member

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    Little Johnny's teacher asked the class how should they politely excuse themselves to go pee if they are on a date.

    Billy said "I would just tell her I need to go pee"
    and the teacher said "No you never want to say that at a dinner table"

    Steve said "I would tell my date date that I need to be excused to use the rest room" and the teacher again said "No you don't want to use the word restroom at the dinner table"

    Little Johnny said "I would tell my date that I need to be excused to go shake hands with an old friend of mine who I would like to interduce you to after dinner"
  4. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

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    The elderly gentleman walks into the Doctors office and tells the receptionist that he has something wrong with his pecker ... The receptionist scolds him and tells him to say something like "there is something wrong with my ear" instead of embarressing everyone else in the waiting room ... She tells him to go out and try it again from the beginging ... The Gent goes out and comes back in, the receptionist asked what's wrong and he replys that there is something wrong with his ear ... The receptionist asks well whats wrong with your ear, the Gent says I can't pee out of it ... WPT ... (YAC) ...
  5. RickN

    RickN Active Member

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    Pope and Arthritis

    A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest.

    The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

    He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?' The priest replies 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and comtempt for your fellow man'

    'Well I'll be darned' the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper.



    The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised. 'I'm sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'


    'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
  6. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Well-Known Member

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    Don't forget to add your joke. Mike.


    'Guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender!

    The robot says, "What will you have?"

    The guy says, "Whiskey."

    The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"

    The guy says, "168."

    The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space, exploration and
    Medical technology.

    The guy leaves, . . . But he is curious . . .. So he goes back
    Into the bar.

    The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"

    The guy says, "Whiskey."

    Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's your IQ?"

    The guy says, "100."

    The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and
    LSU Tigers

    The guy leaves, but finds this very interesting, so he thinks he will
    Try it one more time.

    He goes back into the bar.

    The robot says, "What will you have?"

    The guy says, "Whiskey," and the robot brings him his whiskey.

    The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

    The guy says, "Uh, about “50."

    The robot leans in real close and says,




    "So, . . . You people still happy with Barack Obama?"
  7. Gun Run

    Gun Run Member

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    I loved the last one! Wayne Downham / Camden, IN
  8. mette56

    mette56 Active Member

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    Teacher tells her class that over the weekend, the assignment is to bring back a story that is exciting. Monday morning finds Janie at the head of the class first. Class, Saturday morning there was a house fire down the street and all of the sirens and emergency vehicles rushing by our house was very exciting, plus our neighbor had to be rescued...we saw the whole thing. Very exciting Janie said the teacher. Billy gets up next and tells of a camping trip on Sunday where a big bear showed up and the whole family had to run to safety to keep from being eaten alive. Very exciting said the teacher. Finally, little Johnny is last. He goes to the chalk board, picks up the chalk and draws a circle and fills it in. Teacher says...Johnny, what's so exciting about a DOT? Johnny says teacher, that's not a DOT...that's a PERIOD! And if you don't think that's exciting, you should have been at my house Sunday night when my sister told our dad that she had missed one!

    milt
  9. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Active Member

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    LOL thanks Bulge
  10. brownk80

    brownk80 Member

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    Cowboy walks into a pharmacy and asks for 3 packages of condoms.

    The pharmacist asks if he would like a bag.

    The cowboy says "no, she ain't that ugly".
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