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Little humor... Irish man in the pub with his wife

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Mar 21, 2011.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    An Irish Man is sitting in the pub with his wife and he says, "I love you."

    She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"


    He replies, "Its me talking to the beer."
     
  2. RickN

    RickN Banned User Banned

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    lol...pretty good BB.

    Another..



    I went out with some friends last night and tied one on.

    Knowing that I had a little too much to drink, I did something that I've never done before.

    I took the bus home!

    I arrived safe and warm, which seemed really surprising, as I have never driven a bus before...
     
  3. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Well-Known Member

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    Here's a couple of oldies but goodies.

    Question: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

    Answer: An Irish wake has exactly ONE less drunken Irishman.


    Expanding on humor in the United Kingdom...

    Question: What's the definition of a Scottish gentleman?

    Answer: A Scotsman that knows how to play the bagpipes... but doesn't.
     
  4. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Why did God invent whiskey?

    To keep the Irish from ruling the world.
     
  5. Fritzboy

    Fritzboy TS Member

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    Why do Scotchmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers.
     
  6. 221

    221 Banned User Banned

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    There are no Scott gentlemen, The Brits had to learn that the hard way. A gentleman is a British aberration, that has spilled over into out legal system.........NEVER TRUST A GENTLEMAN.....EVER.
     
  7. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Well-Known Member

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    Gentlemen:

    We've all lost sight of the fact that this is a shooting site - not a humor site. I post the following in the interest of restoring order and making amends...

    Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears.


    He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”


    She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. Me husband passed away last night.”


    The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?”


    She says, “That he did, Father …”


    The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”



    She says, “He said, “Please Mary, put down that d@mn gun.”
     
  8. claybuster60

    claybuster60 TS Member

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    There is no such thing as a "Scotchman". It is a Scottsman. Scotch is something you drink!
     
  9. Pull & Mark

    Pull & Mark Well-Known Member

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    O'Mally was in the pub at closing and was told to go home by the bartender, as he headed into tha back room to start cleaning. So O'Mally got up to leave and fell flat on his face!!! He got up again and tried again to no avail. So he thought if I crawl to the doorway and prop myself up and stand there a few minutes and get some fresh air I'll be able to walk home, so he does. After a few minutes he takes his first step and falls flat on his face again. After crawling down the street he gets to his home, he again props himself in the doorway as he opens the door only to fall again inside his home. With everyone asleep he crawls upstairs and into his bed. The next morning he wakes up to find a nice hot cup of coffee and 2 aspirin. So he sits up, drinks some coffee and downs the aspirin and a few minutes later his wife walks in. She says how do you feel? I heared you had a rough night last night? He says "No" why do you ask!!! She said that Patrick at the pub called and said that you left the your wheelchair at the pub again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Break-em all. Jeff
     
  10. Ljutic111

    Ljutic111 TS Member

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    Hey Buster , a guy can be a Scotchman any night of the week but I prefer Bourbon .
     
  11. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    Bulge, you are my hero when I grow up I want to be just like you!
     
  12. Fritzboy

    Fritzboy TS Member

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    Who cares. They wear dresses like the Greeks who dance with other men.
     
  13. Bertmuss

    Bertmuss Member

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    I had too much to drink last night. This morning I woke up next to a ugly fat woman . . . .Thank goodness, I had made it home safe!
     
  14. paul e. stark

    paul e. stark TS Member

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    Can't remember the jokes but here is the punch lines.

    of course she's served billions she's a Mc donald isn't she?

    you can get wool from them too!

    no it's not a bagpipe but keep playing.
     
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