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Limericks

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Recoil Sissy, May 1, 2012.

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  1. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Active Member

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    In the recent past we've covered jokes, puns, and favorite sayings. Perhaps it's time for a few limericks. Please try to keep them (reasonably) clean.

    To his friend, Ned said, rather blue,


    "My wife Edith just told me we're through,


    For she says I'm too fat."


    And his friend told him that,


    "You can't have your cake and Edith, too."


    PS: Formatting on ts.c is often tricky. Don't forget to hit the space bar twice at the end of each line.
  2. 2500 HD

    2500 HD Member

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    Confussious Says: Man who passes gas in church, sits in his own PEW!!!
  3. Rem29

    Rem29 TS Member

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    There once was a man named Dave,
    Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
    She was dirty and smelly,
    When rolled on her belly,
    But look at the money he saved.
  4. chipking

    chipking TS Member

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    There was a young lady named Myrtle, who had quite an affair with a turtle

    even more phenomenal, a swelling abdominal

    showed Myrtle the turtle was fertile

    --- Chip King ---
  5. rpeerless

    rpeerless TS Member

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    On top of old Smokey all covered with grass


    There sat an old lady a scratching her ___


    Now don't get excited, Now don't get alarmed,


    Because the old lady, was scratching her arm.
  6. WS-1

    WS-1 Active Member

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    (I swear Sissy is playin' straight man tonight)

    "There once was a Man from Nantucket........."
  7. Porcupine

    Porcupine Active Member

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    Location:
    South Central Massachusetts
    A very short limerick:

    "I was once the man from Nantucket,

    Then I got married."

    LA in MA
  8. oldgahchamp

    oldgahchamp Active Member

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    There once was a lady from Norway,

    who hung by her toes in the doorway,

    she told her man Fred,

    get off of the bed,

    I've just found one moreway.
  9. Kolarpole

    Kolarpole Member

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    Here comes the Happy bouncing flea...the sex's look alike you see....you can not tell the he from she....BUT he can tell and so can she.... "run'em"
  10. avery53

    avery53 Member

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    There was an old Lady from New Zeeland

    Who had this perculiar feelin'


    Guess that's enough! lol
  11. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Active Member

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    avery53:

    As someone once quipped, "the problem with limericks is that the clean ones are so seldom funny and the funny ones so seldom clean".



    clean... mildly funny

    There was a young man from Herne Bay

    who was making explosives one day.

    til he dropped his cigar

    in the gunpowder jar

    There WAS a young man from Herne Bay.

    --------------

    not so clean... wildly funny

    There once was a senator from Mass

    Who went out in search of some @ss

    He lucked up and found it

    then f@cked up and drowned it

    And that was the end of his @ss.
  12. bigbore613

    bigbore613 Active Member

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    There once was a senator from mass Who went out in search of some sass He lucked up and found it the f_cked up and drowned it And that was the end of his ass. P.S. old Ted's been sober almost 1000 days. Jeff
  13. ramen39

    ramen39 Member

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    There once was A man from Brewster

    Who said to his wife as he goosed her

    This used to be grand

    but just look at my hand

    You ain't wipen as good as you uster.
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