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Let's Hear Your Practical Jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Bucko43, Mar 14, 2012.

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  1. Bucko43

    Bucko43 Well-Known Member

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    I was remembering back to a practical joke that got played on me once, and I want to hear if there are any better out there.

    I worked in a small machine shop (20 employees) and one of the guys (we'll call him Fuzzy 'cause he had an fugly fuzzy beard) used to love to play practical jokes on everyone. He would walk past you in the aisle way and act like he tripped and bump into you, or he would soak a rag in machine oil and hit you in the side of your face with it and laugh his A$$ off.

    One day I decided to play one on him and I was walking down the aisle with a glass of water in my hand when Fuzzy stepped out from his machine and I tripped and spilled water all down the front of him. It was extremely funny at the time, but he made me wish I had never done this.

    Fuzzy proceeded to break into my Volkswagon bug and run a wire from the distributor around the passenger side door and into my driver seat without me knowing about it. When I got into the car to go home that night, Fuzzy had alerted all 20 employees to watch from the office window. I put the key in the ignition and gave it a crank. To my absolute horror, 20,000 volts shot through the crack of my A$$ and to my brain. Of course it hit me like nothing I've ever felt, and it caused me to jump up in my car seat and hit my head on the roof. All 20 people were laughing their butts off when I looked around to see what just hit me.

    Anybody know a practical jokester?
     
  2. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

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    I'm in the HVAC industry, and there is some stuff we used in thermometer wells called heat conductive compound it's kind of like anti seize but 10 times nastier, I used to take it and put some on a screwdriver and put a dab behind the door handle, gearshift lever and on the back side of the steering wheel on one of my unsuspecting coworkers, by the time they figured out what that smell was, they looked like the Tinman on the Wizard of Oz

    It worked better if it was dark out side though
     
  3. 635 G

    635 G Well-Known Member

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    Back during the gas crisis in 1973, a co- worker bought a brand new VW bug, several of his bud's would ask how's the mileage--he did not know they work secretly adding a half gallon of gas to his tank--he replied I'm getting 135 mpg. When he went back to the dealer for his 1 k checkup, they stop adding fuel..

    Then the s--- hit the fan, he accused dealer of removing a top secret experimental carb, that had been put in his car by mistake. He was constanlty trying to retain lawyers. I honestly believe he would have killed everyone involved.

    Phil Berkowitz
     
  4. huntinandhotrods

    huntinandhotrods Member

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    A girl I dated years ago use to make fun of where I lived because that part of town was a little older and poorer and the people were known for having a lot of yard sales. Any time she came to my house , she would joke about it and comment that it took her twice as long to get there because she had to stop at all the yard sales and shop.

    She was an accountant and made good money and bought a house on the higher side of town.

    So that year April fools fell on a Friday, so me and my buddy went to everyone's house we knew the night before and loaded up any kind of junk items they had. We had both our trucks full of broken vacuums, old clothes, etc and went back to my place and unloaded everything to put prices on it. Then we loaded it back up and drove to her house about midnight and set it all in her front yard to make it look like she was having a yard sale. We hung signs on every corner in her neighbor hood with arrows showing where to go.

    We she opened her front door Friday morning to go to work, She had about 8 people in her yard shopping! I got picture of it and we won the contest on the radio for the best April fools joke that year. She was pretty surprised!
     
  5. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

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    I was working at a Spring coiling shop after school and we had a lunch thief who would raid our bags in the company fridge....we had this dense pink rubber foam about 6" in diameter and 1/8th" thick that was for packing tiny delicate parts for shipping..I took 2 or 3 slices (been a long time)and put it on bread with mustard and wrapped it all nice in Saran Wrap and stuffed it in my bag with my real sandwich...later on I told "Moose" who we knew was the thief that I was busy and if he would grab me my Pepsi out of the fridge he could have my 2nd sandwich...he brought me my soda and scurried off to a corner to consume his prize...we all snuck over to watch as he bit into his free dinner...he did and it took a few seconds to realize it was the chewiest "bologna" sandwich he ever ate...then he figured it out and after spitting out his mouthful of rubber..he chased me around the shop for 20 minutes ranting he was gonna kill me...I still love the look on his face..priceless!!
     
  6. Auctioneer

    Auctioneer Well-Known Member

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    I walked in a store that I knew the all the people who worked there. I saw the young lady talking to a friend of mine. All she saw was a person walking in the door while she was talking to him. I went around the center floor counter and to her back side. She didn't know I was there and very gently and softly blew in her ear. She jumped straight up and screamed. My friend and her parents laughed their butts off. She wasn't happy at first but later settled down.
     
  7. BDodd

    BDodd TS Member

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    I know of an Oregon State student, circa 1958, who left his very simple, older Ford (Model A or B???) at his dorm parking lot to take a train home for Christmas. Upon his return, he found the Ford had been disassembled, parts carried up to his dorm room, and the vehicle was re-assembled in the room. No, I wasn't involved but I heard the Ford was returned to it's rightful place after a day or two.....breakemall
     
  8. m12superx1

    m12superx1 Member

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    I put a dead coyote in the back of my buddys avalanche. The look on his face was priceless when he went to grab his tools at 0630. He jumped about six feet.
     
  9. smokinold32

    smokinold32 Member

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    Many years ago, myself and two other guys sat at the same table at lunch. We worked 3 to 11 so our second break was at 8 pm. I live in PA and each night the one guy would call home and get the lottery results from his wife. Our lottery is picked each night at seven.For over a year he would call and we would check our numbers. No luck, till this one night. See after a year they knew what numbers I played, and I vowed that should "MY NUMBERS" ever come up I would quit and tell my boss just what I thought of him. And futhermore I would buy the local bar and put a drive up window in for six pack's. I'll also have a new trap gun....ect. When I looked at the numbers I could not belive my eyes. There it was 2.8 mil. all my numbers, I was rich ! I was yelling, I won, I won. It was then that I noticed that everone in the lunchroom was laughing, and I mean laughing. I realized what my two "buddys" had done. When they got me calmed down they showed me the real numbers, not even close.The whole plant was in on it. I went hook,line and sinker for it. Sidenote: I don't own a bar. My boss ain't so bad. I'm still shooting this old 32.
     
  10. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

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    Back in 1978 I had a guy by the name of Steven Keene that worked for me. He was the biggest practical joker I have ever known. He got me several times but this was the worst. I ran the communications center at USReadiness center at Macdill AFB Fl and 90 percent of messages we handled were classified. One day I received a phone call from a Colonel Gillespie that one of my Airmen had given a clerk a Top Secret message and that person was only cleared Secret. After he got through chewing me out and told me what his office number was(there were over four hundred offices in this building) I told him I would be right there to pick up the message to get it to the properly cleared personnel. When I got to the office I walked in and the civilian secretary asked could she help me. I told her that the Col. had just called me.(I'm pretty stressed by this time as this is very serious.) She says you have the wrong office as the Colonel has been tdy for two weeks. About that time I hear the giggling in the hall and knew I had been had bigtime.


    Things like this went on for two years and he decided to get out of the Air Force to work for the CIA so we had a party for him and he had never been camping. So we took him camping on a lake on the Harris chain. I knew where a huge gator with a slide at the end of a channel. So I put him in the front of the boat and went up the channel wide open and 20 feet from the end of the channel and I shut the motor down and at that time the 14 foot gator came sliding down. The next thing I knew he was in my lap trying to get away from the gator. His remarks were ok we are even.

    What he didn't know was that I had caught two gators a foot and a half long for the evening prank. After we had cooked dinner and he had six beers he decided to get a shower and go to bed. While he was getting a shower I went to get the little gators but one had escaped so I only put one in his sleeping bag. As soon as he came back to the camp I called him to the tent and showed him my pistol and got in my sleeping bag and told him he better not try anything. Fifteen minutes later he came to the tent, closed the flaps/zippers and slid into his bag.
    After about thirty seconds he started yelling and ripped the bag open and tore the tent doors out. All the other guys were sitting outside waiting and we laughed our butt off. He never pulled another prank on me. Last I heard(I retired and lost touch with the CIA guys I worked with) he was working in a London, England office. Jackie B.
     
  11. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

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    Many years ago at an all volunteer gun club (Sadly now a housing tract) 2 nites a week we would show up after work and shoot. Many of the members liked to bring their hunting dog along.

    We took turns running the shoot.

    One nite after the shoot, when it came time to settle up, Frank walks up to pay, and whoever was in charge said "Let's see, 6 rounds at $2 and an dollar for dinner, so that will be $13."

    Frank hands him $14 and says "My dog also ate, so let's charge everybody that fed their dog a dollar also."

    Well Dennis has a fit about paying for his dog's supper, but pays it.

    Next shoot Dennis says "I guess it is my turn to run the shoot"

    As we are about to finish eating, Dennis announces the next squad with Frank as Squad Leader. Not being a dummy, Frank senses that Dennis is out for revenge, so he rolls down the windows in his car about 4 inches and locks the dog inside.

    As soon as they start shooting Dennis says grab your paper plate and follow me, then flips it in thru the car window, so everyone else does the same.

    The dog had a great time shredding all the plates ... and the car looked like someone had plucked a flock of chickens in there.
     
  12. Oscar Ray

    Oscar Ray TS Member

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    Pepper spray in the AC vents and limburger cheese on the manifold, takes forever to get rid of the crap smell.

    Oscar
     
  13. MR870

    MR870 Member

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    A temp employee at my work place would steal deserts out of food bags in between breaks at night.After a week of losing my Twinkies I decided enough was enough.A coworker of my with an iron stomach was always bringing the hottest hot sauces in to try.So one night I asked him what the hottest hot he had.He gave me a small bottle of some nuclear type hot sauce that made a habernaro taste like sweet milk.I loaded a twinkie with about 20cc's of this sauce and sat back.Sure enough I found out who it was when a certain temp employee screamed and drank every person's drinks that were on the table.The next night I put a whole box of twinkies on the counter in the break room and not a single one was touched.
     
  14. JRW

    JRW Member

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    We had a foreman at our GM assembly plant Kim and he was from Korea. He saw nothing wrong with stopping at a work station and taking a drink of whatever was there. A couple of us tok a Vernors bottle and filled it with piss. He never took a drink of ours again. Jerry
     
  15. GW22

    GW22 Active Member

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    I worked in an office with a bored med-school drop-out who used to devise some hilarious pranks.

    My favorite was this: There was an older grouchy dude at our company who hardly anybody could get along with. He had some clout though, and he often threw his weight around by verbally abusing the younger employees such as this prankster. To get even, the prankster laid low for a while and monitored when the company President would be traveling. On that day he dialed the grouch's extension a few times and just breathed into the phone and said nothing, then hung up. Once the victim was good and infuriated, the prankster dialed the absent President's extension, waited till the voicemail lead-in message had almost finished, and then transfered the call to the pre-angered grouch. The victim picked up, heard nothing again, and started barking vulgar language and making threats -- totally unaware that he was leaving a potentially career-ending voicemail for the man who signs his paycheck. The real fun was when the President retrieved the voicemail and forwarded it to all of us managers asking us to identify the lunatic who had left the psychotic message on his phone.

    Imagine hearing one of your well-deserving coworkers leaving a nasty voicemail for the President screaming, "Listen Mother ####er, YOU'RE DEAD -- when I get my hands on you I'm gonna ring your ####ing neck!!!"

    We laughed so hard we were sore the next day.

    -Gary
     
  16. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    My younger brother moved to a small town in Illinois. He told me that he couldn't wait to see his long time girlfriend as she was staying the weekend. I told him the area of Illinois that he moved to was known to be very religious area and if he had a woman stay over night without being married he could get arrested, as his town was filled with holy rollers and the police chief was fanatical about people having premarital sex. He laughed and said that I was FOS!

    My younger brother did not know that a long time friend of mine was a cop in the same town that he moved to. I called him and asked him what could we do to teach him a listen? We decided that I would drive up early on Sunday morning, I would buy him breakfast and discuss the matter.

    Long story short, My friend drives up to my brothers house in his squad car and in full uniform and takes out a bull horn and calls out my brother's name and request that he come out of the house with his hands held high as his house is now surrounded.

    I am hiding in the bushes, his neighbors are now all out of their houses in their robes and my brother is almost in tears and my friends hand cuffs him as he is bent over the squad car.

    I come around and ask my brother if he is ok as he is now very close to tears? I said do you still think your older brother is FOS. He said no, so I told my friend to uncuff him and said this was a joke and the cop is a friend of mine.

    My brother and his girlfriend were shaking as I walked him back into his house. I laughed so hard I could not breath as my brother swore he will get back at me if if it takes him the rest of his life.
    Steve Balistreri
     
  17. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Well-Known Member

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    As a college freshman, "stealing" someone's dorm mattress was a popular practical joke.

    It typically worked like this: somebody would leave his door unlocked while he went to the head. Two or three pranksters would snatch his mattress and haul it off somewhere. Sometimes they'd hide it in a nearby room. Sometimes it went to another building. In extreme cases the missing mattress might not show up for a day or two.

    One clown was notorious for instigating this prank. He'd burned just about everybody at one time or another. Of course, knowing he was a target, the perp was extremely careful to NEVER leave his room unlocked and unattended. So one day while he was in class, several of us threatened his roomate. "Let us in or we'll beat your @ss."

    We grabbed the perp's mattress and headed down the hall. The bad news is that we ran into the perp in the dorm lobby. The good news is a quick thinker said to the perp, "Give us a hand with this mattress. We're screwing with...", and named someone other than the perp.

    Thinking the mattress belonged to someone else, the perp helped us drag HIS own danged mattress clear across campus. When he found bare bed springs back at the dorm, the look on his face was priceless.

    sissy
     
  18. Bucko43

    Bucko43 Well-Known Member

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    These are all great. Keep 'em coming! This is great entertainment.
     
  19. RobertT

    RobertT Well-Known Member

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    Not long after giving notice to the Police Dept. where she was an officer that she was resigning to go to college full time, my wife was called to a Lieutenants office. The Lieutenant, apparently not a fan of female officers was critical of a report she had submitted regarding an auto accident. Part of the accident description involved a car that had left the road stopping in a growth of bamboo. The Lieutenant, as always critical of her reports stated, "there is no bamboo in Oklahoma" and demanded that she revise her report, to which she refused.

    This incident happened on a Friday, and since the Lieutenant had weekends off my wife devised a plan to get even. Borrowing a friends truck she went back to the bamboo location, cut down a truck load of the plant, hauled it to the station and unloaded it into the Lieutenants office. Not satisfied, she made two more trips to the location ultimately filling the office wall to wall and floor to ceiling.

    Come Monday morning the Lieutenant returned to his office, finding it now filled to the door with bamboo. Of course the rest of the department had become aware of the prank and the Lieutenant became forever known as Bamboo Bob.

    Robert
     
  20. Hank Cross

    Hank Cross Member

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    I'll try to keep this short, but years ago two of my friends were executives for a phosphate company and were infrequent hunters. One sold the other a 870 Remington in 16 ga. and the new owner left for a meeting in San Diego with Pacific Soap. Their VP with the help of others including a sporting goods shop owner convinced him that he got such a good price because 16 ga. shells were no longer being made ( they sold him a box of Monarch #2 buck for $10 ). That night (3AM Eastern)after lots of alcohol, he called the seller and told him to put the 870 where the sun does not shine. Until his death he still didn't believe that he could really buy 16 ga. shells.

    We were all in our 40s and this sort of stuff went on all the time.

    Hank Cross
     
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