1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

Lawyers are great things.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by The Rock, Jan 13, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. The Rock

    The Rock Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,491
    Haven't checked it out as to being true but good for a laugh.



    BEST LAWYER/INSURANCE STORY OF THE YEAR,
    DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY.


    This took place in Charlotte North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.


    Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.


    In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'


    The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.


    The lawyer sued and WON!

    (Stay with me.)



    Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.


    The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held
    a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and
    was obligated to pay the claim.



    Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.


    NOW FOR THE BEST PART...


    After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!


    With his own insurance claim and testimony from
    the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.





    ONLY IN AMERICA....


    NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE NUTS


    Every once in a while sanity prevails!

    Rock

    Jim
     
  2. birdtracker

    birdtracker Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,203
    excellent post Jim
     
  3. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    Coming Soon, to an email box near you...attached to smiley emoticons, pictures of laughing monkeys, and a long rant by Lee Iacocca.
     
  4. Hitapair

    Hitapair Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,344
    Rock- That one circulated at least 20 years ago.
     
  5. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    15,638
    Location:
    Green Bay Wisconsin
    Saw it before, but I still like it.

    HM
     
  6. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,666
    Location:
    West Central Florida
    First time i've seen it. I loved it. I hate lawyers, especially the ones that are politicians. Bulge.
     
  7. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,049
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    You know what they call a cruise ship full of lawyers that sinks in the deepest part of the ocean? A Start!
     
  8. Gold E

    Gold E TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    481
    Sharks don’t bite lawyers…professional courtesy!
     
  9. highflyer

    highflyer TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2006
    Messages:
    2,474
    It is so easy to hate lawyers. I still have fond memories of the lawyer being ripped off the toilet in Jurassic Park. The reason you need lawyers is to protect yourself in court from other lawyers with a judge, a former lawyer, who will side against you if you don't have a lawyer. After they destroy lives they all slap each other on the back and go eat lunch. The first time I sat in in a courtroom I had to get up and leave in disgust. Such an ugly system. I wanted to yell out at them all but I would have been arrested and then needed one of the snakes myself.
     
  10. PAR8HED

    PAR8HED Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2008
    Messages:
    424
    Ah yes, my lovely profession. I love hearing the above rants and raves. It's an occupational hazard, until the schnitzle hits the fan and I get a screaming phone call about some SOB that is going after my new client's (insert whatever you want). Of course, I feel the same way about bankers and insurance companies. (Both who take my money then find ways to keep from giving it back.) But I will leave you with a smile....

    Lawyers are like nukes, if one side has them the other side needs them as well. Once launched, there is no recall. When they land, devastation results and nothing is left living.

    Hal
     
  11. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,049
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Hal, glad to see you have a sense of humor and can take a ribbing!
     
  12. straightshooter1

    straightshooter1 Well-Known Member TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    1,933
    As one, I am tempted to point out that lawyers who sue people generally do it for a percentage of the money awarded. So, they don't get anything if they don't win. And they only win if the jury (made up of regular folks like you) agrees with them.

    But, I won't point that out since we will likely drift into how to get out of jury service or jury nullification. You see you take an oath to tell the truth during voir dire (jury selection) and, if you serve, an oath to try to case truly. So if you lied to get out of jury service or did something other than follow the law and evidence, you are a liar and a perjurer and I'd rather not know that about you. I mean, if you'd lie under oath, it would seem to be a pretty minor thing to lie about the condition of a gun you are selling or something else.

    I will say that there are some real stinkers who are lawyers, civil, criminal and prosecutors. BUT, some of the finest men and women I have ever know were lawyers who simply did there job and did it politely and with integrity.

    The bad ones are the ones you hear about-after all it is no fun to discuss anyone (lawyer, accountant, preacher, bricklayer, etc.-who simply goes to work and does their job.

    As to going to lunch with the lawyer from the other side after the case is concluded, what you may not understand is (1) there have been cases before between these lawyers and likely will be more cases in the future, (2) neither of these lawyers would qualify as the "stinker-type" above or the other lawyer, having been lied to or cheated somehow, sure would not want to eat with him/her and (3) you are the one who has been wronged and it is certainly understandable that you take this affair personally, but you sure don't want some lawyer representing you that is emotionally involved in the case. I have seen many cases lost because the lawyer got so involved in the case that he (never saw a she do this) failed to pay attention to the evidence and truth of the event and got blindsided.

    And, no, I don't really care for lawyers either. I am thrilled that I am retired and busy shooting Trap for a hobby.

    Bob
     
  13. dbcook

    dbcook TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2007
    Messages:
    1,157
    i had friends in no.az that were divorcing because husband of 35 years was committing adultry. i have known both since grade school& both are great friends.. the lady went to a lady attorney & simply wanted a divorce with everthing split 50-50. the lady attorney wouldn,t take the case unless the lady would agree to taking everything but the kitchen sink from the husband. the lady said that is not what she wanted.the lady hired a different attorney,everthing was split 50-50.i think my male friend took for granted everything he had til he didn,t have but 50% of what he had & lost a very great lady. dwain
     
  14. JBrooks

    JBrooks TS Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    3,707
    Lawyers are professionals like accountants, doctors and guys who pump your septic tank. Don't want to use them unless I have to, glad they are available should I need one but wouldn't want to be one.
     
  15. Delbert

    Delbert TS Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2008
    Messages:
    409
    Rocky sure is gullible to believe that BS story (joke) is true. PT Barnum would be proud.
     
  16. BPSR

    BPSR Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    71
    Sadly in my opinion, it is because of lawyers, we need lawyers. This site is a prime example of many, many, honorable people whom you can take at their word, and would gladly do right by you, too bad the whole world is not this way.
     
  17. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    3,523
    Location:
    Blackshear, Georgia
    Actually Delbert, it wouldn't surprise me at all if it were true compared to some of the things I've seen lawyers do. Not so many years ago I had pressed charges against an individual for writing me bad checks. While waiting for the case to come up we broke for lunch and I sat next to the judge and two lawyers and listened to their conversations. One said that if you would give me this I will give you that and all the while the judge was sitting at the same table listening. They were no better than the crooks they were trying in my opinion. I know that you can't judge all of them by this but it doesn't make me feel good about about their job but I have a few as friends. I've never used one except to close on my house and hope I never need one again. Jackie B.
     
  18. Delbert

    Delbert TS Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2008
    Messages:
    409
    Lawyers are dirty rotten scoundrels unless you need one- they they are very valuable.
     
  19. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    15,638
    Location:
    Green Bay Wisconsin
    There are 2 types of lawyers.

    One will help you find your way through the impenetrable mass of regulations, laws, ordinances, and codes we all have to live by.

    The other will see an opportunity to build a simple situation into a nightmare of billing hours regardless of what's right for the client.

    One is a normal guy, could be your neighbor. the other is a snake and should be snuffed.

    The 3rd kind is like my friend Pete. He works for the DNR, and deals with things like the potato farmer who diverts a stream into his field for irrigation, or the junkyard burning car bodies in the open, etc.

    Doctors can be of the 2 types also. Too bad you can't just trust everyone.

    HM
     
  20. Gold E

    Gold E TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    481
    I’m preparing for a deposition, scheduled for two days, on a product liability case.

    Ugghh…two days cooped up in a small room with a pack of vultures, each bilking their respective insurance companies. The case is straightforward improper installation of a common, simple product, but the contractor doesn’t have the stones to man-up and say: “hey, my guy screwed up.” This has been going on since ’05 and I’ll bet that it continues for another two or three years. Eventually, the insurance companies will get tired of the theft, and divide the claim.

    Guess who will ultimately get to pay for all of those billable hours?

    A: You

    B: Me

    C: All of the above.

    {I don’t dislike all lawyers; just the sleazy ones.}
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.