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JUST IN: Military drafting men over 60!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by BigBruno, Dec 3, 2010.

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  1. BigBruno

    BigBruno TS Member

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    New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

    My neighbor is 60 and the Armed Forces thinks he's too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.He thinks they've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, he thinks they ought to take the old guys. "You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35".

    For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a$$hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-biotch.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head...

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pi$$ed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them..

    ***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...in menopause!!!
    You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They will have it secured the first night!
    __________________
     
  2. cubancigar2000

    cubancigar2000 Well-Known Member

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    Now thats funny Bruno. I am 68 and ready to go again
     
  3. Jeff P

    Jeff P Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    1,689
    Why send them overseas? Use them for the gang problems here in the US.

    Hey, gangbangers...You think you're a bad M*****FU**ER because you have a 9mm, you can shoot while you're holding it sideways?

    I know 20 guys, all in our 40s, 50s or 60s, that will take you out from 300 or 400 yards with a deer rifle the minute you step out on the porch, homey. How's that 9mm working at that distance??

    And hey...if you decide NOT to step out on the porch, that's cool. One of us has a 50 cal, and he'll just shoot you through the door....

    Come on out of the 'hood and play with us....
     
  4. Trap4

    Trap4 Member

    Joined:
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    I don't believe in drafting guys over 60--BUT if a man or women wants to come back in let him or her work in the mess hall, or in a office job, that would leave more young members to be on the fighting line. I would go back in tomorrow if they would let me.

    Marine

    Alex E. Thomas
     
  5. shot410ga

    shot410ga Well-Known Member

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    Maybe the most vicious battle in Europe during WWII was the battle of Berlin, at the end of the war. The Germans, all mostly old men over 60 and young boys under 14. fought for months against the Red Army causing immense casualty's to the Russians.
     
  6. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    I would need some special considerations before I would sign up again for a tour of duty.

    1. If they could make me a pair of slip on combat boots, I will possibly consider it, as I can't bend down low enough to tie my own shoe laces.

    2. If they could make my catheter bag in Army green, I might also consider it.

    3. If they will consider making my two hearing aids in camel color, I might strongly consider signing up for another tour of duty.

    4. Will they consider making my uniforms with expandable velcro as my Class A's would need to be at least a size 5XL.

    5. Lastly, after being married for the past 37 years, when my wife gets upset with me, I have now developed what some would call "a nervous pee condition". Would the Army guarantee me that the people who I might fight against, be less scary than my wife? If so, I just might sign on the dotted line today.

    Steve Balistreri
     
  7. CharlieAMA

    CharlieAMA TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    I don't know what research outfit they used, but I'm 57, and I still think about sex every 10 seconds. My wife and my neighbors wife always ask, "Is that all ya'll think about and talk about?" "Yeah, pretty much. But at least we're still talking about it." Charlie Henderson
     
  8. JLSO5

    JLSO5 Member

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    The military couldn't afford our meds and we can't carry a weeks worth at a time because of the weight.
     
  9. shutnlar

    shutnlar TS Member

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    If the USAF still has the C-54s, C118s, and C130As I worked on I might consider it- just to get away from my wife...

    Larry
     
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