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Jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by SoftCraft, Jul 11, 2009.

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  1. SoftCraft

    SoftCraft TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    37
    ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.




    BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.




    You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, I'm fantastic in bed!" THAT'S JUNK MAIL.




    You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed!" THAT'S PUBLIC RELATIONS.




    Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. THAT'S TECH SUPPORT.




    You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. THAT'S A SALES REP.




    You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed!" THAT'S BRAND RECOGNITION.




    You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed!" THAT'S TELEMARKETING.




    You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed!" THAT'S DIRECT MARKETING.




    OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.




    UMFRIEND - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my ... um...friend."
     
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