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Jokes about the South

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Rick Barker, Sep 26, 2011.

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  1. Rick Barker

    Rick Barker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Messages:
    14,335
    My apoligies if these have been posted before.

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    Alabama


    A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for
    the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under
    the weight of an eight-point buck.

    "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

    "Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
    trail," the successful hunter replied.


    "You left Henry layin' out there
    and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

    "A tough call," nodded the
    hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"


    ---------------------------------------------------------


    Georgia

    The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an
    invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

    He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University
    of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%,
    how much would you take off?"

    The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."


    ----------------------------------------------------------


    Louisiana

    A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of
    the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana."

    When asked why, he replied,"I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."


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    Mississippi

    The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his
    buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking
    lot!"

    Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"

    The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


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    North Carolina

    A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
    road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and
    one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied
    the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went
    back.

    He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I got a
    flat tahr."

    The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

    The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front
    and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."


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    Tennessee

    A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

    The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

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    Texas

    The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his
    pick-up into the ditch.

    The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

    "Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For
    Dumping Garbage.' "

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    ***Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard
    o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
     
  2. Hal1225

    Hal1225 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2009
    Messages:
    442
    Got any ID? BoutWhut! You got me. Thanks. Needs some cheaps lands to sleeps ans Pisses on!


    Harry
     
  3. BigBadBob

    BigBadBob TS Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Messages:
    861
    Two Louisiana deer hunters came up to North Missouri to do a little deer hunting. There was a decent snow storm the night before opening day. About 4" of good tracking snow was on the ground when one of the Louisiana boys shot a nice 8-point buck.
    They had their celebration of good luck, finished the chore of field dressing and started dragging the buck out. A local hunter came along and congratulated the hunters on their good fortune. He could tell by their accent they were from the South. He also noticed they were dragging their buck by the hind legs. He mentioned that if they dragged the deer by the antlers, it would drag easier. "The hair won't collect the snow and if you drag by the antlers, the buck will slide right on top of the snow." The 2 Louisiana boys looked at each other and said, "Thanks, mister, we'll try it your way and see how it works." The hunters said their good-byes and went their separate ways.
    After about an hour of dragging, they stopped for a breather. One of the Louisiana hunters said, " You know, that Missouri feller was right nice in tellin' us how to drag a deer in the snow and he was right, it is easier. The only thing is, we's getting farther away from the truck!"
     
  4. BigBadBob

    BigBadBob TS Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Messages:
    861
    A Texas rancher was driving through South Missouri a few years back. Mostly sightseeing but was also doing a study on farming practices around the country. He stopped at a little farmhouse and was chatting with the owner about his farm. The Texas rancher asked the Missouri farmer, " hH many acres ya'll got here?" The Missourian replied, " I only have 80, but I manage to scrape up enough to live on. How much land do you have?" The Texan, who liked to brag, kind of swelled up and said," Why let me tell you, I can jump in my truck, drive all day, and never get off my property." He figured this would impress the Missouri farmer, but the farmer replied," Yep, I know what you mean, I had a truck like that once,too."
     
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