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Joke of the day

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by bigbore613, Feb 22, 2012.

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  1. bigbore613

    bigbore613 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    4,469
    > A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large
    > plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and
    > every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
    >
    > Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said,"Ma'am, there are $20
    > bills falling out of that bag."
    >
    > "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back
    > and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."
    >
    > "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that
    > money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
    >
    > "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right
    > next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot
    > hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick
    > me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the
    > best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real
    > quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing
    > through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K.,
    > buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'
    >
    > "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
    > Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
    >
    > "Not everybody pays
     
  2. rustygun

    rustygun Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    314
    A guy goes into a bar and orders 10 shots of vodka, he begins to slam them down.

    The bartender says: "Slow down you're gonna hurt yourself."

    He replies, "If you had what I have you'd drink like this too."

    Bartender asks,"What do you have?"

    He replies ".73 cents"
     
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