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Jewish and Italian Grandparents

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by OLD ONE EYE, Feb 9, 2012.

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    OLD ONE EYE Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Florida / Idaho
    T H E Jewish E L B O W

    A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

    "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow , push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow , hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons

    with my elbow? .........

    "What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"


    Wise Italian Grandfather

    Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.................

    An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

    "But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

    "You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos. "

    "Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.
    "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up' "?
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