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Jewish and Italian Grandparents

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by OLD ONE EYE, Feb 9, 2012.

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  1. OLD ONE EYE

    OLD ONE EYE Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,253
    Location:
    Florida / Idaho
    T H E Jewish E L B O W

    A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

    "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow , push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow , hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons

    with my elbow? .........


    "What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"

    _______________________________________________



    Wise Italian Grandfather


    Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.................

    An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

    "But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

    "You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos. "

    "Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.
    "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up' "?
     
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