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Italian bread.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Jun 19, 2013.

  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,666
    Location:
    West Central Florida
    Oldie but goodie!


    Italian Bread

    Two buddies, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

    The 87-year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
    The 80-year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
    The 87-year old said, "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
    So, on the way home, the 80-year old stops

    at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
    He said "Do you have any Italian bread?"
    She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
    He replied, "I want 5 loaves."
    She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves .... By the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard."
    He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me!"
     
  2. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
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    7,565
    Location:
    Wauwatosa Wisconsin
    LOL.
    Steve Balistreri
    Wauwatosa Wisconsin
     
  3. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,650
    The Italian Lover, a virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.


    After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, So, you finish? She paused for a second, frowned, and replied. No.


    Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, You finish?


    Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, No.


    Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, You finish?


    Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear... No, I Norwegian
     
  4. Bisi

    Bisi TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,399
    There was a beautiful young girl who worked at an old time General store in this small town. It seemed no matter how she arranged things in the store the young guys who came in requested the items on the top shelf, which required her to climb up a ladder to retrieve the items.

    One day she put all the Raisin Bread on the top shelf. That day the young guys as usual had her up the ladder. While she was up the ladder the old man who came in every day to get a loaf of bread came into the store. She saw him from the ladder and asked "Is yours a Raisin today, too? "

    The old man smiled and said "no, but it is twitching a mite" LOL
     
  5. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    Try the new Italian birth control...

    You place an aspirin tablet in one shoe...

    It makes you limp.
     
  6. 635 G

    635 G Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
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    6,221
    An Italian baker comes home , finds his wife in bed with her lover, he shoots both of them.

    At the trial the judge asks "Did the victim have his penis out" The baker replied" he had no peanuts he had a salaam"

    Phil Berkowitz
     
  7. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    6,369
    Location:
    S-E PA
    An Italian comes home early to find his wife in bed with another man.

    In a rage he runs to the dresser and pulls out a pistol which he holds to the side of his head.

    At this point his wife starts laughing at him.

    He responds "Non chou laugh - youa next."
     
  8. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    S-E PA
    Do you know why so many Italians are named Tony??

    They arrived in America with this sign stuck on their shirts...

    To N.Y.
     
  9. over the hill

    over the hill Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2007
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    1,377
    You can always tell how prosperous an Italian is by the color of his cement mixer.





    Regards.....Gerald