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In case you need a laugh today.....

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Ron Frazier, Sep 23, 2007.

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  1. Ron Frazier

    Ron Frazier TS Member

    May 13, 2006
    This has been around but it is funny.

    Subject: In case you need a laugh today.

    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
    school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely
    in our jobs.

    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
    which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
    correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then
    review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
    some actual maintenance complaints Submitted by UPS pilots (marked with
    a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance

    By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an


    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last..................

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
    pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.
  2. ec90t

    ec90t Guest


    I assure you that it took a bit more to get my A&P than it did my HS diploma. Hell, my pilots certificate was easier to get than my A&P!

    With all that being said, Good Stuff!

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