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I found a big surprise on my driveway this morning

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by senior smoke, Nov 29, 2012.

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  1. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    First of all, I try to be a good neighbor and person in life. With that being said, I should purchase a hat that resembles a toilet seat with the lid up, as the world is usually sh--ting on me.

    I get up this morning and I am looking out my living room window when I see a gal I would estimate was in her 20's walking what I think was a dog, as this sob was huge.

    My neighbor told me that it was a dog breed called a Mastiff? Let me first say I love dogs, (small dogs) as what this dog left me to pick up on my driveway was something that Ringling Brothers might be use to picking up.

    My small dogs, when I pick up after them all I need is a tiny pooper scouper, as today, I needed a jump suit, a shovel, and carnival music when picking up after his mess.

    The young lady, did not pick up after her dog as she just left it at the edge of my drive. I put on some clothes and ran after her and told her it was her responsibility to clean up after Enormo.

    She appologised and said she would go home and come back in a half hour to clean it up. Six hours later the pile and I do mean pile of sh--it is still on my drive.

    So of course guess who picked it up? All this gal needed was a man with a wheel barrel and shovel following her when she walks this beast. For a person who trys not to bother anyone, I am like a loone magnet. I seem to always attract the sick, the lame, and the lazy.

    I've had enough of this sh-- literally.
    Steve Balistreri
     
  2. mixer

    mixer Well-Known Member

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    One of these is a Mastiff, was the one you saw about this size?
    mixer_2008_0303136.jpg
     
  3. 338reddog

    338reddog Member

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    If the pile cam from a dog the size in the pic obove consider yourself lucky as you may have ended up in a pile on someone elses driveway.

    Jeff
     
  4. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

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    My Dad had a friend that retired from farming and moved to town, his neighbors used to let their dog out and they would dump all over his lawn, after stepping in it a couple of times he talked to them, they ignored him, so being a crafty old farmer he modified an old putter, and would go out and "putt" the sh#$ on the side of their house

    That cured the problem, it only took a couple of putts
     
  5. Stl Flyn

    Stl Flyn Well-Known Member

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    Should have taken pictures. Called the correct authorities, and let them deal with her. If you did not get any cooperation from them, then I would have scooped it up with a long handled shovel, and walked down to her place and used that long handle for leverage, and made sure it stuck to the house, car and anything else she may have had access to. Then just say you where trying to make sure you got it into her yard.
     
  6. 391 shooter

    391 shooter Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to the Obamy Nation, no consideration for anyone but themselves.

    But with a dog that size ya might want to be careful when you confront her and have some protection on your person just in case she tells the dog, catch him.
     
  7. Chris Dunlap

    Chris Dunlap TS Member

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    My 10yr old son has a mastiff at his mother's house. The majority of mastiff's that I have encountered are goofy and very very UN-aggressive.

    I wouldn't worry about her sicking the dog on you. The only way it may come after you is if you tried to lay your hands on her.

    Was she at least hot?
     
  8. AlanM

    AlanM Member

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    Do what I did once picked it up, put in a box and gift wrapped the box, gave it to the person whose dog left it, and said have a good day. That ended that problem.
     
  9. SeldomShoots

    SeldomShoots Active Member

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    Along the lines of Alan's thoughts, you could paper bag it, porch it at her place and then light and watch the comedy.

    Too funny Barf on the cameras.
     
  10. wolfram

    wolfram Well-Known Member

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    Happens all the time on my street. I think the front of my place is a real draw because there are three big trees apparently custom made for dog bombing. Also doesn't help that my dogs like to lay a few mines as claim markers.

    No big deal, shoveling shit is the least of my problems.
     
  11. johnboy

    johnboy Member

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    Very humorous story a co-worker told to me on a night shift. Neighbor's dog getting his paper. Placed a paper on a rubber mat ( insulated from ground ) and ran 110 to paper with light bulb for load in the circuit. Dog grabbed paper and completed circuit, paper owner had to unplug to free dog, dog owner very upset. Dog ran from papers after schocking experience. He said same technic works for garbage cans.
     
  12. Shootrman

    Shootrman Member

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    Mastifs were breed as guard dogs. They were trained to hold the victim. A friend of mine had two of these monsters, and he would give them a tennis ball and they would hold it all day.
     
  13. shannon391

    shannon391 Active Member

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    Stl Flyn,

    You would actually bug a busy cop over a pile of dog crap? You are a pussy.
     
  14. gotbass

    gotbass Member

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    Had a neighbor across the street who's dog would make a bee line to my lawn when let out in the morning. Using my trusty shovel I starting picking it up and leaving by their front door. Only took about four times and the dog was no longer let out. Some people have no manners and think that the rest of the world is their crapper.
     
  15. cubancigar2000

    cubancigar2000 Well-Known Member

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    Idaho
    I have a bb gun that cures neighbors dogs from coming into the yard. It wont draw blood but stings enough they get the message. I love dogs ( my own) Fortunately I have two acres so it does not happen often
     
  16. Haskins Bill

    Haskins Bill TS Member

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    What a sh$$$y story. Worse thing that mastiff could do to you unless he was really pissed would be to slobber you to death!!! Big land mines for sure. One of my daughters has one and he is a big wuss but lovable.
     
  17. John Galt

    John Galt TS Member

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    Stl Flynn a pussy? Go figure!!!!
     
  18. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

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    I had a lady that used to walk her dog on my nice lawn all the time, I finally caught her and asked her nicely to walk her dog in her own yard ... She got all huffy and said something about its nothing but dog doo, what the big deal ..? I found out where she lived and deposited my doo on her steps several times over about a 2 week period, she opened the door one morning and asked what the Hell I was doing, I explained it was only doo, whats the problem ..? I took her picture and handed it over to the people in Code Enforcement and they caught her and issed a $500.00 ticket for littering, I never got to see her or her dog again and she was not bad to look at but she had one ugly ass dog ... WPT ... (YAC) ...
     
  19. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Save bacon grease, melt it, and pour it on the dog turds in the yard.

    I LMAO when the same dogs that left the turds clean them up for me.
     
  20. crusha

    crusha TS Member

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    The best thread Senior Smoke ever started...and capped off by the most useful entry Brian in Oregon ever posted.


    It was indeed a good day.
     
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