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Humor I Hope !!!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by BRGII, Jan 24, 2009.

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  1. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    740
    Inner Peace



    I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV program I have finally found inner peace. A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.



    So ..... I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum toblits, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets.



    Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.



    Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece
     
  2. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
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    During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

    The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related impedimenta.

    When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"

    Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

    The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."
     
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