1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

How to grow and trim a beard

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by recurvyarcher, Mar 25, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,450
    •To coax out hair follicles, there's no need to use a medical hirsuteness cream. Instead, expose your face to extreme cold in order to convince your brain's hair-growth gland to produce a natural blanket for the affected area.


    •Once your face is fully covered in hair, sculpt it into a beard, mustache, supplementary eyebrows, or fashion-mane. The first time, your hair will be extremely coarse and can only be cut with gardening shears or an antique sword. If you are under the age of 9, ask an adult to trim your beard for you.


    •Wash your beard at least four times a day to sweep out food crumbs and errant wads (of the trapshooting type or the green ones falling from above). You'll need a gallon of cold salt water and an enlarging mirror to wipe down each individual hair.


    •Your beard will grow rapidly and without warning — it might not grow at all for months and then grow 6 feet or more and in a new color overnight. Always keep your beard covered by an upside-down party hat to prevent people from staring at its growth during registered shoots or a United Nations speech.
     
  2. locdoc

    locdoc Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    874
    Location:
    Antrim, NH
    You're in rare form today......... Keep 'em coming.

    Doug Whiton, P/W dealer/dist
     
  3. ric3677

    ric3677 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,510
    Location:
    Montana
    Never too old to learn.
    Thanks Devi

    Rick in MT
     
  4. Conn. Man

    Conn. Man Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    797
    Location:
    Timbucktoo
    Hey Doug,

    She may be in rare form taday,I can emagine what she is capable of !!!!!!!!!!!!.We better duck or we could be the recipient of her next post.

    Sandy Holehouse
     
  5. grntitan

    grntitan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2009
    Messages:
    17,184
    Location:
    IL(The gun friendly Southern Part)
    Feeling alright today Devi? :0)
     
  6. Jerry944t

    Jerry944t Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,860
    Location:
    PA
    Does this work for both men and women?
     
  7. hmb

    hmb Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,420
    How long have you been suffering from these delusions. HMB
     
  8. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    7,538
    Location:
    Oxford MA
    Devi I certainly hope you aren't speaking from practical experience. I wear a more than full beard and I experience none of the situations you describe...LOL

    Bob Lawless
     
  9. BudsterXT

    BudsterXT Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2010
    Messages:
    545
    LMAO RickN- that monkey has blue balls!

    Is that like the temp sensor on them fancy beer containers- changes to blue when they get cold!!
     
  10. Pull & Mark

    Pull & Mark Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2006
    Messages:
    5,410
    Maybe, Martin wants to grow a beard and this is how she is dealing with it??? Your guess is as good as mine!!! Break-em all. Jeff
     
  11. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,450
    If my methods work for you, then I also recommend purchasing these beard/mustache guards so to wear in the winter so your new growth doesn't get wet, freeze, and break off like some hairs on my horse's tail do.

    OR, if my method DOESN'T work, I can knit these in brown, black, grey, orange, or yellow to sort of match your hair color. Removable just in case your girl doesn't like hair in her face, or when you want to change up your look for a night in da club, so there's an advantage to faking it with one of these.

    They are custom-made by hand and only $400 apiece. They will be the new fashion craze of 2012. Get a head start now and I'll give you 50 cents off plus free shipping...you only pay the handling charges. I handle them a lot, you know...knitting them and all.


    recurvyarcher_2008_03031.jpg
     
  12. Jawhawker

    Jawhawker TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,734
    This is evidently my fault, she's found more pics of me "back in the day". I had years of being a bonafide practioneer of "heathenism".

    But from my experience just an ample amount of Redman constantly drippled about the chin and neck produces a rather hairy growth, even at a very very tender age. In fact by age 11 or 12 I had a full beard.

    Now you folks do what you will with all that fancy smancy growth lingo but its a darn site simplier to accomplish. Them woman always gotta complicate the application!
     
  13. Mapper

    Mapper Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2008
    Messages:
    684
    Location:
    SW Michigan
    Hummmm, my former red beard is bleaching severely, except where the Skoal dribbles down the corners of my mouth. Do those face guards come in red?
     
  14. shot410ga

    shot410ga Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    7,763
    My Granddad said: Never hire a man with a beard. If he's to lazy to shave, he's to lazy to work. In my many years as a supervisor, boss, owner, etc. I have found that to be generally true.
     
  15. TEXASZEPHYR

    TEXASZEPHYR Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    841
    Location:
    TEXAS
    Iffn yu are outside a lot in the cold of winter, a beard is the best there is for keeping your face warm. Call me a heathern, but it is what it is.

    Bob
     
  16. WesleyB

    WesleyB Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Messages:
    1,472
    HAHAHA Already have the Thread of the Year right here LMAO LMAO.... great stuff!!!
     
  17. Sam Ogle

    Sam Ogle Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    174
    Many years ago, as a young wannabe, I started a mustache. A client looked at me and said "You have a baseball mustache." Flattered, I thought he meant like Rolly Fingers, the pitcher. I said "thanks." He said "Yeah, about nine to a side."
    I shaved it off that night and that was the end of that.

    Sam Ogle, Lincoln, NE
     
  18. bigunn

    bigunn TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    185
    As the story goes when when My uncle came home from the navy, he had a mustache and no son of hers was gonna have such a evil thing. When he went to bed and was a sleep , she went out to the hen house and got some chicken Sh@t and rubbed under his nose , Well as the story goes he shaved off never to grow another.
     
  19. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,450
    Mapper, red would be a custom color. That is an additional $19.987 cents...you can round that number up if you don't have the exact amount.
     
  20. front242

    front242 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2006
    Messages:
    170
    Location:
    California
    Curvy, you may find this chart handy. It allows you to detect a persons profession according to the beard length.

    Tim O.
    F²4²


    front242_2008_03037.jpg
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.