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help with wife ex

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by nailer123, Nov 5, 2008.

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  1. nailer123

    nailer123 TS Member

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    My wifes ex takes my step daughter to trap practice on he's weekend .I payed for her gun so it is in my name but she came home with out the gun. I dont want to not let her have the gun it's not her problem .But i dont like the gun not coming home what do you think.By the way this guy does not like me .He also make her ask me for shells.
     
  2. birdbuster

    birdbuster TS Member

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    So......are you afraid to communicate to your wife or her ex? The gun should stay with you if it is in your name. Just my opinion.
     
  3. mixer

    mixer Well-Known Member

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    Where's the gun? The cheapskate should be paying for shells for his daughter and you should tell him so. Of course he doesn't like you, you're sleeping with his ex, some people just can't let go.


    Eric
     
  4. nailer123

    nailer123 TS Member

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    There is no communicate with him he think he is above the law .The thing is i dont want to keep the gun from the kid she loves to shoot.If i tell her not to take it that just is bad for her.
     
  5. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

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    You can't have your cake and eat it to ... Its got to be one way or the other, you want the gun or you don't ... Why don't you take her shooting ..? WPT ... (YAC) ...
     
  6. zinger

    zinger Member

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    How old is your daughter? Maybe you should make one more call to the ex and let them know that if the gun isn't returned asap, it'll be reported stolen. Then, tell them that if they want to take the daughter shooting you suggest that they buy their own gun for her to use. Stand up for yourself! Things can be compromised.
     
  7. birdbuster

    birdbuster TS Member

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    Zinger has it corrct. If he doesn't return it (the proof is it is in your name and you are filing the complaint) it could be considered theft. He might have sold it by now for all you know. Depending on the daughter's age, it would be tough to put her in that position. You and your wife tell him to return it that day or else you are reporting it stolen.
     
  8. shadow

    shadow Active Member

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    I would have already reported it as "stolen". Kinda sounds like the new hubby has taken up a liking for the gun you bought your daughter. It would be very nice of you to buy his ammo too.
     
  9. cubancigar2000

    cubancigar2000 Well-Known Member

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    The police will not consider it stolen. She was in control of it and she allowed him to take it home. I think you would be wasting your time and at the same tim alienating her from you.
     
  10. awbenz

    awbenz TS Member

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    The age of your Daughter Matters Here. What doe's your wife say about this.Is the EX still paying shild support? I would tell her that you bought the gun for her and it is Her responceability to keep it with her all the time. When she leaves and comes home it is to be with her. Ask her how you can take her shooting if HER gun isn't there.
    Allen
     
  11. nailer123

    nailer123 TS Member

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    I do take her shooting with me all the time . I dont want her to have to shoot 2 gun she is doing while with this one .So i think i will tell them the gun comes back right after they get done with practice and if it doesnt then she cant take it again . All i want is what is best for the kid.
     
  12. SeldomShoots

    SeldomShoots Active Member

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    Its probably not worth going back to court over, but I would ask your step daughter how many rounds she is going to shoot and send that much ammo with her. If she shoots more, the ex can pay for it. I would also explain it to her that since you bought the gun and presumably it is in your name that the gun should always come to your place. Presuming that your wife is the custodial parent, your step daughter's primary personal belongings (purchsased by you or your wife) should remain at the custodial residence. If she doesn't honor your request, don't let her take the gun in the future, assuming you get it back.

    John Ertel
     
  13. SR1

    SR1 TS Member

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    The gun should come back with her. I would let the wife handle this one and if it doesnt work then you tell him nicely thats it must stay with her.
     
  14. trapwife

    trapwife Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

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    I have an ex and your story sounds so familiar that it have been my story written on carbon-copy paper. I never sent anything with the kids on weekend/vacation visits that I expected to get returned. If they wanted to bring home anything they took, fine with me, if it stayed, I wasn't surprised. Put your daughter in the driver's seat, she will have more influence over her bio-dad than either you or her mother will ever have. Carefully explain that if she wants to continue shooting with you and her mom, the gun has to come home so it will be ready to go with all of you. She will make sure that her future shooting entertainment isn't stopped by bringing her gun home. When SHE insists that it returns with her, daddy-dearest won't keep it. In my humble opinion, you are way too generous to supply shells. Do you also pay her way when he takes her to other fun places? amusement parks? out to eat? sporting events? If you do pay for all her entertainment with her bio-dad then shells are no different. At my house, I always had to pay for whatever I did with the kids so I let my ex do the same at his house.
     
  15. nailer123

    nailer123 TS Member

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    trap wife hit the nail on the head. If it goes there it dont come back.Trap wife i do not pay for other things he has sent the girl back in the house to try and get money for a movie. My when i take her we can stop by his house an see if we can get gas money.I will be big man here and let him play his stupied game.
     
  16. GordonWood421

    GordonWood421 TS Member

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    nailer123 ,

    I think you are ( and should) be taking the higher road . Apparently , there is a good bond between you and your SD .Is there a difference in incomes that might be why her BD is "cheap" ? At least you havent mentioned that he wants target fees as well .

    I agree with those who suggest that the gun comes home with her - - - and by reminding her as she leaves or when you (or her mom) talk with her remind her that you are hoping to get the chance to shoot together soon .

    Sounds like you are wise enough to not belittle the BD ; continue to demonstrate to your SD that she is too important to you to get into a tug-of-war over shells . Heck , if you don't have a press , get one and spend some quality time reloading with her .

    I applaud your efforts ; no child can have too much love ; especially a young lady with divorced parents .

    Charlie
     
  17. Jawhawker

    Jawhawker TS Member

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    I wouldn't develop a scene inwhich it comes down to you or bio dad. Set your step daughter down and have realistic conversation with her and your desires for the gun to come back to your house after shooting is over. Treat her as an adult and don't get into a heated discussion on the matter! Iam sure if properly handled, she will understand your wishes. Most likely bio dad is trying to create a scene with your step daughter and/or wife out_of_pety_childlisness. Be the bigger_man that you are acting and ignore his behavior. Step daughter may just realize who is the adult!

    IMO I would not bring into the conversation anything about you furnishing shells. Its a nice gesture on your part and I would and will do the same for my step daughter. My take is that as long as they are enjoying it that I will pay for them to play.
     
  18. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Karla and Martin. There are ways to gently do it, always keeping your daughter first.

    Her dad is trying to get a rise out of the situation so that he can use it to his advantage, or he is really cheap...one or the other. Don't play into that situation. It won't be worth the argument over money in the long run.
     
  19. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    You paid for it it's your gun the your allowing your stepdaughter to use and at some point own. I woudl attend the next trap shooting session and watch or participate at the end of the day take the gun home to clean it and get it ready for next time. Then have oit come back hmoe with her for cleaning every time they shoot.
     
  20. BIGDON

    BIGDON Well-Known Member

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    If there is an accident with that gun who do you think they will come after?? Personally I don't think the gun should be out of your sight, you own it and are utltimitly responsible for it, period.

    Don
     
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