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Heart warming lawyer story.**Humor**Join in

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Dec 26, 2011.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Subject: Heart Warming Lawyer Story. No this is not about Gene.

    One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men
    Along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop,
    And got out to investigate.

    He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

    "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
    "We have to eat grass."

    "Well, then, come with me to my house and I'll feed you,"
    The lawyer said.

    "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are
    Over there, under that tree."

    "Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

    Turning to the other poor man the lawyer said,
    "You may come with us, also."

    The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said,
    "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

    "Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

    They all entered the car, which was no easy task,
    Even for a car as large as the limousine.

    Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to
    The lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind.
    Thank you for taking all of us with you."

    The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.
    The grass is almost a foot high."
     
  2. gotbass

    gotbass Member

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    lawyer and heart warming is an oxymoron. The 99% give the rest of us a bad name. Happy New Year!
     
  3. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Yeah, I know one on here that gives them all a bad name. Mike.
     
  4. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Well-Known Member

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    bulge:

    Did you hear about the attorney that took Viagra?


    He got taller.

    sissy
     
  5. 2500 HD

    2500 HD Active Member

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    You know why New Jersey has more land fills and Texas has more lawyers???? New jersey got first pick!!!!!!!!!
     
  6. shannon391

    shannon391 Active Member

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    Most men are buried six feet, lawyers eight feet.

    Deep down, their good guys!
     
  7. Bisi

    Bisi TS Member

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    In reality there is only one lawyer joke. Every other "joke" or story you heard about them is based in fact.

    I've had the misfortune of spending time with a lot of different lawyers the last few years. After every meeting with one (including my own) I have driven home and immediately taken a shower. They are some filthy, slimy, miserable sobs.

    You can steal more money with one lawyer than a 100 guys with guns.
     
  8. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    You know why lawyers wear neckties??

    -

    Keeps the foreskins from covering their heads...
     
  9. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    What's lower than whale poop?
    Lawyers. Mike.
     
  10. In plain view

    In plain view Member

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    Saw a lawyer the othaer day in San Francisco with his hands in his own pokets.
     
  11. Bob Schultz

    Bob Schultz Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

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    Three surgeons are talking in the doctors lounge...

    First one says " I love to work on accountants...all the parts are numbered!"

    Second doctors says " I like to work on engineers... all the parts are numbered and labelled!"


    Third surgeon says... " I like to work on Lawyers".

    The other two ask "Why on earth of all people do you want to work on Lawyers?"

    "Simple" the third doctor says, "They only have two working parts...mouth and butt hole and they are interchangeable!"
     
  12. hehawboy

    hehawboy Member

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    A women tells her doctor if you can get pregant from anal sex ,the doctor says you sure can where do you think LAWYERS come from .
     
  13. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    BDE, i think I would have to see a picture of that to beleive it. Mike.
     
  14. Auctioneer

    Auctioneer Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?











    Your Honor.
     
  15. chikeneyes

    chikeneyes TS Member

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    what looks good on a lawyer A pitbull
     
  16. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    Do you know the difference between a catfish and a lawyer???

    -

    -

    -

    One is a cold blooded, bottom dwelling, scaly, slimy creature and the other is a fish.
     
  17. joe90t

    joe90t Active Member

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    What is the Difference between a Lawyer Laying in the road and a skunk laying in the road.-------There Will Be SKID Marks In Front of The Skunk.!!!Joe W.
     
  18. Auctioneer

    Auctioneer Well-Known Member

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    How can you tell the temp when around a lawyer? You know its cold when the lawyers hands are in his own pocket.
     
  19. Bvr Tail

    Bvr Tail Well-Known Member

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    The definition of a "Catastrophe"

    When a 50 passenger bus goes over a cliff with 48 lawyers, and all are killed.

    The definition of "A Shame"

    That the other two seats were not also occupied by lawyers!

    Just for laughs

    Danny
     
  20. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

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    Do you know why Sharks wont bite lawyers?? Professional courtesy ; )
     
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