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For you old timers. Shocking! *** Humor.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Pa), Mar 10, 2012.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Pa)

    Barrelbulge(Pa) Well-Known Member

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    Old Timers Sex:

    The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

    'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

    'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'


    'Oh Jim, you old devil,that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

    A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself,he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

    The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.

    Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

    The policeman is amazed.He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

    After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

    So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

    Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!
  2. MDMike

    MDMike TS Member

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    That was really good.....
  3. PatMiles

    PatMiles Member

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    Electrifying sex!

    Pat
  4. WS-1

    WS-1 Active Member

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    That's shocking!
  5. Barrelbulge(Pa)

    Barrelbulge(Pa) Well-Known Member

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  6. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

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    So that's how alternating current was invented? And I always thought Tesla was responsible for the discovery.
  7. ric3677

    ric3677 Active Member

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    No Sunday Paper


    This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors,

    and to all of you who will become seniors.




    "WHERE IS MY SUNDAY PAPER?!"

    The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

    "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY". There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, ..


    ..."Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church either."
  8. chuckie68

    chuckie68 Active Member

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    OUCH!!! Both good jokes!

    And to all you younguns, just remember, tomorrow you will be one closer to bein' an "Old Timer" like me!!

    Chuck
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